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Bokuto and Akaashi do everything together. They go to college together, they spend all breaks together, they go home together, they study together, they eat together, they breath together.
All that since the start of their relationship almost two years ago when Akaashi went to college. It& #39;s exhausting. Akaashi loves Bokuto, he does, but the only moment he has to himself is the time he goes to sleep and he needs more time than that.
"Do you think I could sleep at your place tonight?" Bokuto& #39;s eyes were pleading.
"...Sure."
"Great!" Bokuto smiles widely grabbing Akaashi& #39;s hand as he was trying to eat lunch.
That was another thing. It seemed like he couldn& #39;t say no to his boyfriend +
"...Sure."
"Great!" Bokuto smiles widely grabbing Akaashi& #39;s hand as he was trying to eat lunch.
That was another thing. It seemed like he couldn& #39;t say no to his boyfriend +
and that was killing him inside, because he could feel himself draining. He could feel himself getting tired of their relationship. And that was actually scaring him. He had been waiting to be with Bokuto since his first year of high school +
and now that he finally was... he wanted to be by himself again.
"I don& #39;t know why we haven& #39;t spent more nights together, I mean, you have this big apartment and it must be lonely to sleep at night." Bokuto says as he lays on the bed next to Akaashi.
"I don& #39;t know why we haven& #39;t spent more nights together, I mean, you have this big apartment and it must be lonely to sleep at night." Bokuto says as he lays on the bed next to Akaashi.
Akaashi shrugs and continues to read his book. He likes to read in peace, that& #39;s why he normally does it at night but apparently he wouldn& #39;t be able to do it tonight since Bokuto was typing frantically on his phone and laughing out loud when a new message came in +
which was every second. Akaashi closed the book and looked at the wall in front of him taking a deep breath.
"Bokuto-san, I& #39;m trying to read." He looks to his side and gives a fake smile while clenching his jaw.
"Oh, sorry & #39;Kaaashi."
"Bokuto-san, I& #39;m trying to read." He looks to his side and gives a fake smile while clenching his jaw.
"Oh, sorry & #39;Kaaashi."
Bokuto moves closer to him and plants a kiss on his cheek.
Their whole side body is touching as Bokuto goes back to laughing and typing. And suddenly Akaashi can& #39;t breathe. He needs air, he needs space. So he puts the book on his nightstand and gets up frustrated,
Their whole side body is touching as Bokuto goes back to laughing and typing. And suddenly Akaashi can& #39;t breathe. He needs air, he needs space. So he puts the book on his nightstand and gets up frustrated,
leaving a confused Bokuto on the bed and moving to the kitchen for a glass of water. He hears Bokuto& #39;s footsteps behind him and in no moment there are arms around his waist and lips on his neck. Akaashi feels uncomfortable with those touches.
He doesn& #39;t want them, all he wants is to be alone.
So he pushes Bokuto away and walks to the living room, sitting on the couch and looking at floor. He needs to talk to Bokuto.
"& #39;Kaashi? What& #39;s going on?" The man sits next but distant from Akaashi.
So he pushes Bokuto away and walks to the living room, sitting on the couch and looking at floor. He needs to talk to Bokuto.
"& #39;Kaashi? What& #39;s going on?" The man sits next but distant from Akaashi.
"I& #39;m exhausted." Akaashi breaths out.
"Yeah, I& #39;ve been noticing that but-" Bokuto& #39;s mouth close as he sees his boyfriend& #39;s hand in the air telling him to shut up. Akaashi sighs and opens his mouth countless times, not saying anything.
"I& #39;m feeling... claustrophobic..."
"Yeah, I& #39;ve been noticing that but-" Bokuto& #39;s mouth close as he sees his boyfriend& #39;s hand in the air telling him to shut up. Akaashi sighs and opens his mouth countless times, not saying anything.
"I& #39;m feeling... claustrophobic..."
Bokuto frowns. "Did you ever notice that we do everything together since I came to college and we started dating? We can& #39;t... we& #39;re... we& #39;re like one person."
"Isn& #39;t that how couples are supposed to be?" Akaashi finally looks at him.
"Don& #39;t you feel the need to be alone?
"Isn& #39;t that how couples are supposed to be?" Akaashi finally looks at him.
"Don& #39;t you feel the need to be alone?
To breathe alone?!" Bokuto shrugs.
"I like to be around you."
"I feel like I& #39;m losing myself!" Akaashi& #39;s eyes start shining as tears filled them. "I can& #39;t see anything that isn& #39;t you, I can& #39;t breathe without having you by side!
"I like to be around you."
"I feel like I& #39;m losing myself!" Akaashi& #39;s eyes start shining as tears filled them. "I can& #39;t see anything that isn& #39;t you, I can& #39;t breathe without having you by side!
God, the other day Kuroo asked my favourite ice cream flavour and I said "we like strawberry". Why did I say that? I like chocolate too! I like chocolate more!" Akaashi sobs out loud, tears falling down making Bokuto& #39;s eyes widened as +
the man in front of him covers his face with his hands. "I like chocolate more..."
Akaashi doesn& #39;t even know what he& #39;s saying anymore. He doesn& #39;t know how to express his feelings to Bokuto.
"T-that& #39;s okay, Akaashi. We can start eating the chocolate one."
Akaashi doesn& #39;t even know what he& #39;s saying anymore. He doesn& #39;t know how to express his feelings to Bokuto.
"T-that& #39;s okay, Akaashi. We can start eating the chocolate one."
Akaashi lets out a frustrated sound.
"No, that& #39;s what I& #39;m trying to say..." Bokuto makes a confused face.
"You still want to eat the strawberry one?" Akaashi looks at him with a serious face. Bokuto shivers, he doesn& #39;t like that look.
"No, that& #39;s what I& #39;m trying to say..." Bokuto makes a confused face.
"You still want to eat the strawberry one?" Akaashi looks at him with a serious face. Bokuto shivers, he doesn& #39;t like that look.
"No." Akaashi swallows. "I think I need some alone time."
"W-what?"
"I need to find myself again and we spend too much time together for me to be able to do that..." His voice was soft.
"W-what?"
"I need to find myself again and we spend too much time together for me to be able to do that..." His voice was soft.
"I love you, Koutarou. I really do love you, but I feel like I can& #39;t move or breath whenever I& #39;m with you and that& #39;s not what a relationship should feel like. I think we should break up."
Bokuto nods and Akaashi can see on his face how hard he& #39;s trying not to cry and +
Bokuto nods and Akaashi can see on his face how hard he& #39;s trying not to cry and +
that& #39;s what& #39;s hurting him the most. But he knows he& #39;s doing the right thing, they both need some time to be themselves again.
"I love you too, Keiji. And I understand your decision, thank you for talking to me." Bokuto gets up before Akaashi is able to respond and a minute later
"I love you too, Keiji. And I understand your decision, thank you for talking to me." Bokuto gets up before Akaashi is able to respond and a minute later
he shows up dressed, his car keys on his fingers. Akaashi goes to him and cups his face with both hands bringing their lips together. It tastes like salt due to Bokuto& #39;s tears that start falling as he wraps his arms around Akaashi to hug him, breaking the kiss.
"I hope we find each other again..." Akaashi whispers.
Bokuto looks at him in the eyes, a small smile on his face as he says "We will."
Bokuto looks at him in the eyes, a small smile on his face as he says "We will."
– the end –
(i hope i was able to express akaashi& #39;s feelings well, it was kind of hard. anyways, hope you enjoyed it)
(i hope i was able to express akaashi& #39;s feelings well, it was kind of hard. anyways, hope you enjoyed it)
