You might not know it, seeing me ask sugar settlers for money, but I was raised with an unbelievably strong Calvinist work ethic. I grew up very poor, with a blue collar father in the trades, enduring the busts of the 80s, and the booms that never enriched us.

The "Calvinist work ethic" is merely a less religious form of eternal guilt and shame for not working "hard enough." I suffer from it greatly, even still. Constantly beating myself up for not having accomplished more, for "wasting time" doing things like writing, or relaxing!

It's a moral imperative that makes you believe your poverty is your own fault, a moral failing for lack of commitment and hard work. It's a fucking Foucauldian prison and your own brain is the jailer.

I went through being a single mother, in law school, never asking for help.

And then, after I moved to Montreal with the kids, I had to apply for social assistance for the first time ever. I was MORTIFIED. It was SHAMEFUL. I had to tell my parents and I just wanted to sink into the earth. I was a FAILURE and a BAD PERSON.

I was denied btw they offered me something like $100 a month or some shit like that, I couldn't believe it. I'd gone through the extremely humiliating process of explaining to strangers that I couldn't take care of my kids and they denied me anyway.

Anyway, so deeply-rooted is the refusal to ask for help, it extends in every direction. I wouldn't ask for extensions in school even when things were really terrible. The one time I did ask for my situation to be considered in law school(I was going through an acrimonious divorce

AND a custody battle...yeah, I was fighting for my kids), one prof was so angry at me for not attending her class enough she gave me a D, nevermind that I did the work. Had she failed me, I'd have been able to appeal, so she really found a way to fuck me over the most.

And I believed I deserved it! I was being stalked, threatened, like literally had my life threatened, and my ex was trying to take my kids away, but I believed that this prof treating me like shit was JUSTICE.

Anyway, I started meeting wealthy and powerful white people for the first time in my life in my late 20s and early 30s. Because the white people I grew up around, while they seemed unimaginably rich to me back then, I came to realize, were just lower middle class ppl at the most.

I was meeting former Prime Ministers and other ministers, really rich people, etc. It wasn't pleasant btw, I felt like they were consuming me, and to a very real extent, they were. I was there to "represent" and it was gross and exploitative.

But I started seeing how much wealth these people had...omg. Multiple homes? Traveling everywhere in the world, and they got free stuff CONSTANTLY. Rich people have so much shit GIVEN to them, it's absolutely bananas. I got a gift bag at a shmoozing event once...

I pawned that shit so fast, I couldn't believe it. Rich people don't pay late fees, or fines, no NSF fees, they get better interest, they can buy better quality shit so they don't have to keep replacing it...it's ridiculous. You probably know all this but I was learning it.

And the worst thing is, these people thought...no, they believe still, that they are awesome and progressive and good allies. And they sit there with multiple homes and so much wealth. Are they better people than me? Harder working? Smarter? More moral? FUCK no.

They've got access to intergenerational wealth and the only way you've got that in Canada is from fucking theft of Indigenous lands and resources.

The first time a sugar settler gave me money, I was devastated with guilt. I desperately needed the money, but I wanted to vomit.

Long story short (too late), I've reconciled that internalized guilt, that fake morality, and I'm out here settler domming like a mf. Reparations, rent, whatever you want to call it. Give me your money, your "property", whatever. I'm not going to feel guilty for it.

Often it's the only way I can feed my family. Does anyone really think I don't work "hard enough" to feed my family? I mean, besides me, and my still intensely internalized belief in my own failings? I work my ass off and I am still struggling, and let's be honest...

it's a lack of intergenerational wealth, without which you don't really get to be middle class in this country. If you don't have parents who can cosign a mortgage, or to pay your tuition, fill your fridge, help you with expenses etc...you're fucked.

And again, we make this a question of morality. RESIST.

Sugar settlers, step up.

The Calvinist work ethic violates Métis sovereignty lol, a bunch of scammers, schemers, and squatters, we used Catholic feast days to leverage better working conditions and pay btw. My people knew how to relax, prioritizing kinship and celebrations that kept those ties strong.