Here's the thing for a lot of "gifted" ADHD or autistic kids: we were never taught how to hone our craft in any skillset.

When you're a "gifted" kid & things come naturally, you never learn to make yourself work through the times when it doesn't come naturally. So when it doesn't, you walk away.

ADHD & autism both make it difficult to focus on tasks you don't love. So I get there's a chemical reason it's hard for us to focus. I do. But that's not it.

Once you've spent a childhood being told you're some kind of genius, you resent when things don't come easy, b/c it's clearly a sign you're stupid. So you never force yourself to learn how to practice things.

And once you can't make yourself practice things, you become an eternal dabbler. Your whole damn life is jumping hobby to hobby, project to project, b/c you simply cannot make yourself follow through *anything*.

Look, I know I can never be as focused or self-driven as a neurotypical person. I *get* that. And I get medication is part of how I solve that which, great, I'm on meds. But working through difficult spots is a *skill*.

Sitting through the uncomfortable feeling of being a total n00b at something is a skill. Accepting plateaus happen & you work through them anyhow is a skill. They're skills you learn better as a kid & that are almost impossible to learn as an adult.

And...I'm tired of this. I'm tired of being told "oh you're ADHD/autistic" like that means I should just be comfortable w/ my inability to follow a damn thing through. I'm not ok w/ this. I don't like my disabilities being an excuse.

Disability makes things harder for me. I'm tired of everyone acting like harder is the same as impossible.

Right now, I'm angry that no one taught me how to follow through, ashamed to be 33 & have no self-drive other than sheer enthusiasm, & resentful that there's no resources other than "well you'll always suck at this" & "stop being lazy."

There has to be a way to learn to practice things & accept that not being a natural Mr Wizard at everything isn't somehow a reflection on my intelligence &/or worthiness.

There has to be. B/c I don't know if I can keep functioning like this for the rest of my life if this is all I can manage.