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Here& #39;s the thing for a lot of "gifted" ADHD or autistic kids: we were never taught how to hone our craft in any skillset.
When you& #39;re a "gifted" kid & things come naturally, you never learn to make yourself work through the times when it doesn& #39;t come naturally. So when it doesn& #39;t, you walk away.
ADHD & autism both make it difficult to focus on tasks you don& #39;t love. So I get there& #39;s a chemical reason it& #39;s hard for us to focus. I do. But that& #39;s not it.
Once you& #39;ve spent a childhood being told you& #39;re some kind of genius, you resent when things don& #39;t come easy, b/c it& #39;s clearly a sign you& #39;re stupid. So you never force yourself to learn how to practice things.
And once you can& #39;t make yourself practice things, you become an eternal dabbler. Your whole damn life is jumping hobby to hobby, project to project, b/c you simply cannot make yourself follow through *anything*.
Look, I know I can never be as focused or self-driven as a neurotypical person. I *get* that. And I get medication is part of how I solve that which, great, I& #39;m on meds. But working through difficult spots is a *skill*.
Sitting through the uncomfortable feeling of being a total n00b at something is a skill. Accepting plateaus happen & you work through them anyhow is a skill. They& #39;re skills you learn better as a kid & that are almost impossible to learn as an adult.
And...I& #39;m tired of this. I& #39;m tired of being told "oh you& #39;re ADHD/autistic" like that means I should just be comfortable w/ my inability to follow a damn thing through. I& #39;m not ok w/ this. I don& #39;t like my disabilities being an excuse.
Disability makes things harder for me. I& #39;m tired of everyone acting like harder is the same as impossible.
Right now, I& #39;m angry that no one taught me how to follow through, ashamed to be 33 & have no self-drive other than sheer enthusiasm, & resentful that there& #39;s no resources other than "well you& #39;ll always suck at this" & "stop being lazy."
There has to be a way to learn to practice things & accept that not being a natural Mr Wizard at everything isn& #39;t somehow a reflection on my intelligence &/or worthiness.
There has to be. B/c I don& #39;t know if I can keep functioning like this for the rest of my life if this is all I can manage.
