Read on Twitter
Okay girls and boys gather round the twitter fire pit , it’s STORY TIME 
https://twitter.com/___audreyrose/status/1265659446639964160
https://twitter.com/___audreyrose/status/1265659446639964160
So it was a regular shmegular weekday in Harare . Your girl was feeling cute, looking cute she was poppin’. So she decided to go visit her then boo at his house . This was actually a regular thing though it happened every other day , it was routine
it happened every other day , it was routine
So since this was a regular thing (during the week ONLY and y’all know why) we had to be strategic about it . We had established from the get that chii, parentals start coming home around 5 but his mother in particular came home earlier around 4.
) we had to be strategic about it . We had established from the get that chii, parentals start coming home around 5 but his mother in particular came home earlier around 4.
12.50 . I’m in my car on my way to his ( also imagine he was only ONE neighborhood away, like 5 mins drive) bumping them jams , yoh mo’ghels spirits were HIGH . I meaan what do you expect when she was getting dicked down every other day of the week.
So I get to his house, he opens for me ooo get into his yard park my car at the far end of his driveway closer to his house , my USUAL parking spot uno
Boo invites me in. “ Makadi,” I’m met by Sisi at the kitchen door , she wearing the biggest smirk because she BEEN KNEWWW i been getting my back blown out regularly Pamusha ipapo for the past 2 months give or take . What a real G, not all heroes wear capes guys!!
14.00 we’re in his room , I be entertaining , making him laugh , he making me laugh . Things are still cute and PG13 . We were actually Netflix and chilling or listening to music , OR I was watching him roll a joint. The calm before the storm. I can’t exactly remember that part.
14.45 Zvatanga.
After some smoll smoll lipsing , WE’RE both on our bullshit . He’s not tryna waste anymore time , i ain’t either. Come the strokes .( take note of the time y’all)
After some smoll smoll lipsing , WE’RE both on our bullshit . He’s not tryna waste anymore time , i ain’t either. Come the strokes .( take note of the time y’all)
15.10 . Yhu my guy was deep in that SPLAH , meanwhile I’m at the rodeo! Moans flying across the room , we loud AF , Sisi minding her own business drinking water somewhere in the house . Wayment .... the time, but mhomz is probably preparing to come back home any moment.
But Umjolo YAKUNAKIDZA too much
Can we stop ?
Can we stop ?
This nigga pauses and says, ‘Let’s go into the next room’ ( We’d also had plans to do it in almost every room in the house) so we was just tryna tick all them boxes Yziya.
) so we was just tryna tick all them boxes Yziya.
Haa guys time flies when you’re having fun .So we in the next room part 2 , he does this * bleeeep* with his * bleeeeeeeep* and I start * bleeeeeeeeeep* and then we * bleeeeeeep*
YOH hey wena
YOH hey wena
Time is getting close. Contingency plan cause we wana finish our gwans but yoh mhomz could show up any minute. So I’m like let’s go to your car buuut I actually didn’t think she’d show up anytime soon but people know their rents. i don’t know why I just thought it was a good idea
So he’s like bet. ‘I don’t know where you’re going with this but bet. ‘ typa response.
smol detail ( REMEMBER THIS)
My guy says he has to go back into his room to do his bed , he couldn’t leave his bed all messed up not even for 20 mins he always had to do it immediately after.
smol detail ( REMEMBER THIS)
My guy says he has to go back into his room to do his bed , he couldn’t leave his bed all messed up not even for 20 mins he always had to do it immediately after.
G = Garage
AR = My car
B= Boo’s car
D = Driveway
AR = My car
B= Boo’s car
D = Driveway
15.55 Okay so nigga’s made his bed and he comes out to his car where I was waiting , we get in . Part 3? We both off pant again and we at it again. Don’t even get me started on the rush! Adrenaline sex all the wayyyy.
We both off pant again and we at it again. Don’t even get me started on the rush! Adrenaline sex all the wayyyy.
So whilst I’m riding this guy like there’s no tomorrow , out of the corner of my eye DO I NOT SEE A BIG BODY BENZ DRIVING TOWARDS THE GARAGE . HOMYGODOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH . MHOMZ VASVIKA.
DID SHE SEE US?????? BUT HOW DID WE NOT HEAR HER???? ( Just to let you know all of you with silent gates, your parents did that for a reason don’t be fooled, they want to catch you !)
all of you with silent gates, your parents did that for a reason don’t be fooled, they want to catch you !)
So I calm down a bit cause I remember this nigga’s tint game is on 
but imagine if we’d been in aquarium?!? 
but imagine if we’d been in aquarium?!?
What’s worse is my guy was now on a mission I’m like, ‘ Your mom just arrived you know.’ He goes, ‘ Yeah I know but let’s finish.’
I’m like, ‘ Your mom just arrived you know.’ He goes, ‘ Yeah I know but let’s finish.’
But he didn’t tell a lie we HAD to finish. But it wasn’t long before we both collected our nuts, yhu the thrill of knowing his mom was in the building was one hell of a catalyst At that point I don’t even know where the quan is , all I know is she’s seen my car
we HAD to finish. But it wasn’t long before we both collected our nuts, yhu the thrill of knowing his mom was in the building was one hell of a catalyst At that point I don’t even know where the quan is , all I know is she’s seen my car
Now, We always try take our parents for poes , but they’re not stupid. AT ALL . His mom knew who I was she’d seen me a couple times, she had an idea of the nature of my relationship with her sonshe knew my car. BUUUT GET THIS NOW.
We always try take our parents for poes , but they’re not stupid. AT ALL . His mom knew who I was she’d seen me a couple times, she had an idea of the nature of my relationship with her sonshe knew my car. BUUUT GET THIS NOW.
So she’d seen my car in the driveway, this niggas car had tint and his windows were rolled up so she passed his car but she didn’t see anything or suspect anything HOWEVER she had seen mine.......
Her FIRST instinct was to check this guys bedroom of which SHE DID but all she found was a nicely made bed . Nothing UNUSUAL. After that she didn’t come outside to his car she stayed in the house .
After that she didn’t come outside to his car she stayed in the house .
So we done, we dressed we get out of the car and we go in to greet her I doubt she saw anything but she was not pleased nonetheless Anyway after all the formalities, I bid my fairwell hop into my car and drive off into the sunset with my bad B O-glow.
I doubt she saw anything but she was not pleased nonetheless Anyway after all the formalities, I bid my fairwell hop into my car and drive off into the sunset with my bad B O-glow.
