I wish it was robot probes going someplace cool. But nope—just launching two middle-aged dudes to study the effects of futility on the human body 400 kilometers above sea level. https://twitter.com/AstroBehnken/status/1265670462815776768

I just want to live to see if there are weird fish on Europa. But we attempt no landings there.

Astronauts jobs are the first ones that should be automated. I blame the Moon for this—it is just close enough to be kind of reachable, and so human space flight derailed what would by now be a flourishing program of autonomous exploration of the entire Solar System by probes

The US space program is like NASCAR with better helmets. You go real fast in a loop 200 times and then wrap yourself in the flag.

There's something oddly of the moment, too, about feeling proud of getting back to where we were some 60 years ago. We can now fire guys into low earth orbit again! But not all of them, yet.

The cost of the modest manned program we're pursuing now would pay for about seven New Horizons missions, is why I'm griping. Seeing Pluto up close is way cooler than sending another tang-drinker to our great trailer park in the sky.

Getting some pushback that our 2020 capsule is way better because it has the metaphorical equivalent of cupholders and good lumbar support, unlike that dangerous racecar from the 60's. But that just makes it more lame. It's a dad space program now.

Hello?
Yes, this is space dad.
Yes, I'm calling from my land line.
Anyway, here's your mom.

I wrote a thing 15 years ago about our dumb space program, and it's only gotten dumber since. I guess it's time for an update. https://idlewords.com/2005/08/a_rocket_to_nowhere.htm

A lot of the coolest stuff in the Solar System is around Jupiter, in a radiation environment that would cook people alive. Even if we spent the planetary GDP on rockets, astronauts could never go there. Real space exploration necessarily means robot probes—the kind we build well!

The most hospitable off-Earth environment for human beings is not on Mars, but Venus. You can float along high in the Venusian atmosphere at a comfy temperature and normal pressure, as long as you don't open the window (because of the hurricanes of acid) https://sacd.larc.nasa.gov/smab/havoc/ 

The fact that they gave the capsule a touchscreen adds all the more dad energy. Vision blurring due to excess G forces? Why, simply raise your arm and drag the slider on the MuskBar to reduce thrust! But be careful not to tap the volume slider, because Journey is about to come on