#ptsd #CPTSD
Even without coronavirus, the mixture of always being prejudged, recognising it, and reacting to it almost to the point of paranoia and extreme social anxiety, my life is incredibly lonely.

My real last name coupled with my first name makes me alone in this country. The NHS doesn't bother with my number based on that. It never has. It rarely even bothers with my postcode or birthday.

Expand it globally and the numbers don't increase. Everyone is related to me, and if I live longer than the rest of my family, which is very possible, I already feel that lonliness now because of their behaviour.

How many people in this country are New England first generation Americans without EU citizenship rights and don't work in finance like the rest of the Exonians I meet here?

How many gay men hold domestic violence visas?

I know what "next to none other than me" feels like, and my pre existing social anxieties caused by CPTSD make them that much more difficult to fathom.

I don't need a psych ward, I need a peer group where I know these near solo identities won't be dramatised by petty squabbles.

Where people don't try and fix my issues that I know are permanent with the wrong answer-- or worse, the answer that justifies their personal views more than helps me.

And I don't know if that exists.

Thank you @OTMBrooke for this weekend's episode. Just the use of the word lonely made me comfortable to think it. And consider this thread.