People that play video games online seem to be dealing with lock-down very well. They have an in-built cultural understanding of remote socialising.
Plus they're spared that awkward Zoom thing of 'What you up to? Fuck all. What you up to? Fuck all'. They're hanging out socially to do something.
Not like everyone else, who tries to replicate social events virtually - movie watching, parties, whatever. They've got a purpose to the virtual social interaction.
The nerds are winning basically. They always win, in the end.
Whereas I am sit here watching the prime minister in front of the liaison committee. Shit life choices. That is what has brought me here.
"You;re very kind to want to see me again more frequently. Can I get back to you...." Yeah right.
And just like that, Johnson get rids of any question of him doing this regularly.
"I am deeply sorry for all the hurt and pain and anxiety this country has been going through." Not an apology. Probably the closest we'll get.
Boris Johnson is now informing Jenkin on what the public actually want him to focus on.
Why no inquiry? Johnson says lots has already been discussed. "Not certain right now an inquiry into that matter is a good use of official time."
Of the rose garden press conference, Johnson says "I thought it was good if people could understand what I understood previously."
Shows how damaging this is for him. he was satisfied with that story. The public think it was a joke. So therefore his own judgement is a joke.
Ah good, and we're back. "A lot of what was written about my adviser was false."
Apart from the story about him going to Durham presumably, which he admitted. Or the one about the trip to Barnard Castle presumably, which he also admitted.
Another non-apology. Actually a non-apology squared. Not even apologising for people being offended. But saying he's sorry covid happened.
Meg Hillier: You said the stories Cummings were false. Did you see the evidence to demonstrate that? Johnson eventually, under pressure, says he did. She demands he publish it. "It would not be doing my job if I were to shuffle this problem into the hands of officials."
Johnson just said "move on" for I think perhaps the tenth time. Yvette Cooper: "It's extremely surprising you will not provide that evidence."
Cooper will likely carve him up here. What's the advice here on parents who might get sick. Travel if you don't have access to childcare, or don't?
Johnson says there's no discrepancy. "If you have exceptional difficulties with childcare" you can take action, Johnson says. Cooper says a quarter of parents with covid on Mumsnet said they didn't have access to childcare.
Johnson: "The clear advice is to stay at home... if you have exceptional problems with childcare that might cause you to vary your arrangements and that's clear."
"And that's clear." Yes, crystal. The rules are the rules unless they have to be redefined on the basis of the activity of your senior adviser.
Cooper: Do you want them to seek childcare or stay put?" Johnson: "You'd have to look at each individual case." Incredible.
Cooper: "Here's the problem prime minister, the reason you are not giving a straight answer is because you are trying to protect Dominic Cummings. The reason you send your ministers out to say fudgy things is because you want to protect Dominic Cummings."
"The problem is that means you are putting your political concerns ahead of clear public health messages to parents who have coronavirus."
"Can you tell us: you have a choice between protecting Cummings and putting the national interest first. Which will it be prime minister?"
Johnson suggests this is an example of "politicians squabbling and bickering" and says it's "no wonder people feel confused". Notice the trick there - challenging him is what is putting the public at risk.
Simon Hoare again (Con): "I don;t think anyone can understand why Cummings is to pivotal. People are very annoyed. Is that on your radar." Daggers in response from Johnson: "Simon, you've made that point several times now."
Again Johnson claims the allegations against Cummings were not correct. Again fails to provide a single piece of evidence for that proposition.
It's the cynicism that gets you in the end. He has such a deep undiluted well of it inside him. He's like cynicism as Platonic Form.
Johnson asked if it's compulsory to stay at home if the tracing programme finds you've been in contact with people with the virus. Johnson: "We will be asking people to stay at home. If they don't we will consider what sanctions are necessary."
And you see, that's the problem right there, distilled - not in what happened in stage one of lock down but in what happens next.
On what possible basis does he have the authority to say that given the contortions he has bent himself into over Cummings? On what basis could people possibly be expected to follow it?
You're expecting people to receive a message saying you've been in contact, stay at home now, even when others are out. Impossible to believe that would work after last few days.
Hunt asking about the delay in testing. Alongside care homes, that is the greatest scandal of this entire episode. Johnson concedes the UK didn't have the enzymes, didn't have the volume. "This country didn't learn the lessons of SARS."
At the time, Johnson told us we had a world beating testing system.
State of him. Someone without the moral capacity to do the job, nor a grasp of the issues he is supposed to be managing. Prime minister during one of the worst health crises in this country's history.
Johnson just seems to have - I think accidentally - introduced a 24-hour target on test results.
But won;t say when that target will be hit. Because he's "forbidden" from doing so. By whom? He is the fucking prime minister. The Queen?
I'm going to have some wine I can't watch this sober.
Johnson asked if unis should teach virtually or in person. "You're piling on some questions here." Gets passed some papers. Looks like this is the first time he's thought about the subject of universities since he left one. Says nothingness.
I saw that story about Cambridge and vaguely thought how dreadful it would be to lose so much of the joy of first year, often the best year of your life, just like that. I'm pretty sure by doing that I dedicated more thought to the issue than the prime minister.
Johnson asked about providing additional assistance to the childcare sector. He answers with a bumbling verbal stumble of pure nothingness, in a manner which suggests he hasn't given any of this the remotest thought.
Hard not to be livid when he discusses this subject. He blathers about wanting more women in the room. Asked how many women is enough, he says: "Oh by, this is a deeply.. that's a question I'm not confident to pronounce". The 'very drunk at the time' bloke from the Fast Show.
"All I say is it's incredibly important to us as Conservatives we have more... 50% would be great... we have large numbers of female MPs of great talent."
Oh yeah, and of course, a reminder that the Conservative party has had female prime ministers. Jesus fucking Christ.
There's an amusement there, an additional level of smirking, which I suspect is indicative of the manner in which he discusses that subject in private.
Remember that old thing people used to say of Johnson: Oh the bumbling thing is just an act, he's terribly clever. If only that were true. But he isn't clever. No fair-minded person could watch this and think he was up to the task.
Johnson asked why support for the self-employed ends this weekend. No answers, just vacuum.
This is such a waste of time.
Darren Jones (Lab): "Earlier in the session you said to my colleagues the allegations against Cummings were untrue. Can you set out which are untrue?"
Johnson: "I've gone into that before, and I have nothing to add." Johnson: "You didn't answer the question about which allegations were untrue. Would you like to do so?"
Johnson: "Although I understand people's frustration with the whole business, I think that what the country wants is for us to be focusing on how to go forward."
(Sorry, that was Jones in that previous quote, I fucked it - you can work it out. Impressive MP btw.)
So unseemly and lacing in moral principle. To accuse the press of lying and fail to provide a single instance of it under repeated questioning. Abysmal.
Hillier: "Are you concerned that the message during lockdown was so unclear that your own adviser did the right thing but the rest of us didn't understand what we could do?"
Very good.
No point quoting Johnson response.
Right well, that;s over, thank fuck.
That's better. No more horrible noise.
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