I want to speak up on a lot of the things I see going on, but I can't I am unsure if it is just the way I am or something else entirely. I know what I have been seeing isn't great and I would love to have the voice, but I have never been known to be able to outright speak up.

In fact, it feels like I am walking into my own demise any time I form an opinion. I don't know what people will think, but there is also the part of me that just doesn't care what others think. I am more times in conflict with myself about whether or not I should speak my mind.

It leads to people thinking that I truly don't have a voice or just don't have a worry or stress in the world when in actuality I know that isn't the truth at all. I care that the world is burning around me but I am just forced to watch it unsure of what to say or do.

I just don't know how to use my voice, so I started to try and force it out. This thread has been rewritten in so many different ways and this is the final format that I was able to come up with. I don't think people will perfectly understand what I am saying but that is okay.

I don't expect everyone to understand, to be honest, I am just hoping at least one person understands. I want to speak my mind on so many situations that I have seen but similar to this thread my voice is being stopped not by others but by my own thoughts muddling together.

I had to sit and think of how I am going to word this so that it makes sense. I know personally, I can't afford to do this every time in fact, it was a mentally taxing thing for me to even be open as best I could in this scenario. So, I know that if I try it every time I would-

Always be mentally exhausted and eventually I would lose the motivation for the things I love just from not having the mental capacity to want to do those things. I guess this is just me complaining out into the world more so than anything.