Okay, lads, gals, and variations thereupon. I would like to talk to you about a few things re: the way yall talk about groups of people. This is a PSA, particularly to privileged folks (white, cishet, etc.)

First up!! Let's talk "poly" vs "polyam."

Here is a link to an article that succinctly explains how polynesian people have asked polyamorous people to stop using "poly" as the abbreviated term, though I disagree with the author of the article a bit. http://aidamanduley.com/2015/09/01/stop-saying-poly-when-you-mean-polyamorous/

I personally think using polyam after a large, marginalized group has asked people to stop kinda sucks and has big colonizer tones. Sure, words can have multiple meanings, but sometimes we can just let people have things!

Also, hot take, polyam sounds cuter to say

NEXT UP: Using "nb" vs. "enby" to describe nonbinary people.

Here is an article that explains the importance and difference in the terms. It's well worth the read. http://www.anamardoll.com/2018/02/storify-why-i-use-enby-and-not-nb.html

TLDR (but u should read it!!!!): Many ,many, many black people have asked nonbinary people not to use "nb" as their abbreviation because co-opting terms used by black people to differentiate themselves from other people of color, again, sucks and wreaks of colonizer.

NEXT: I love love love my straight ally friends, but please I am begging you to stop saying "female identifying" or "male identifying" or "nonbinary identifying" to describe people.

I hear you trying to make your language more inclusive, but this is meh to hear, & here's why:

Qualifying a person's identity this way when speaking makes it sound like gender/identity is a flavor of the week situation. For some people it certainly may be! But for others, their journey & transition is a painful or terrifying process, largely due to fear of others reactions

It's easier (and sounds more accepting, honestly) to just say women, men, and nonbinary people.

There's a lot more to say on that. Gender and one's identity is complex and individualized to each person and I certainly can't do justice to those discussions in a tweet thread, but those are my thoughts on this particular language issue.

And obviously I'm not speaking for everyone. Many people don't care, I'm sure, and that's fine! It's just some food for thought.

My final topic is this since it's related to nonbinary issues.

If you are a cishet person saying "women and nonbinary people" I would love you to strongly consider what you picture when you say that, for these reasons:

Enby presentation runs the gambit of binary gender presentations all the way to space alien, and many other forms along that line and around that space.

That being said, enby people are often lumped together this way as many cishet folks consider enby people as "women lite."

Masc nonbinary people exist, and are absolutely lovely, and I would hate for them to feel erased through this language, like they often do.

Often times, saying "women and non-men" is a simpler identifier that feels less reductive in this way.

And once again, and I CANNOT stress this enough, I am not an absolute authority on these things.

In my time in life and online spaces that have polyam, poc, and enby folks, these are things I've learned/changes I've made to my language to be more inclusive.

In closing, I also want to say this is NOT a call out post to anyone, or even at all really. I've wanted to share my thoughts on these topics for a while now and I finally had a chance to organize them.

Thank you so much for reading!! If you have different thoughts or anything to add, I'd love to hear it!