The problems with most codependents is that, instead of thinking of how somebody else either adds or subtracts value from their life, they tend to see themselves as the main stabiliser in relationships. If something is wrong or imbalanced in anyway w/ both relationship or

partner, they believe that this is a result of their short comings, or an indication that they are not doing enough, not taking on enough & not compromising enough. They fall into these situations because they don’t see relationships as a mutual effort & flow.

They assume responsibility & position themselves as martyr.

When we look at a lot of energy with codependents, we see that many of them carry past life energy of feeling guilt from something they did or did not do in their generational line. They attempt to rectify this in

modern relationships, by over doing & over compensating.

Deep down, they still haven’t forgiven themselves. They still believe themselves to be unworthy & undeserving of love. And that’s why they have to do so much to earn or maintain it.