People think making space is a physical one. "A seat a the table" is the phrase used And there are many in this community that make the physical space. "everyone is welcome!" they say. But making space is more about the physical. It is the mental too.

Making mental space is a whole other ball game. It's actually very difficult and exhausting to do. You don't know what is in the mind of the people looking back at you. You can not read minds.

Making metal space is hard, because you have to live and exist and think outside yourself, experiences and consider others. It is work, it is constant. To change natural thinking of your own feelings, thoughts and yes, pain. to make metal space.

Metal space is considering a POC doesn't want to use an X card because they don't want to draw attention or make disruptive waves because all their life they are told they are too brash, too loud and too bossy.

Metal space is respecting someones choice to use pronouns of their choice (or not) depending where they are on the journey of identification

Metal space is looking over your body of work and considering the cultural influence you used and whether it still has a place in a modern community.

Metal space is understanding someones pain and reflecting on your words and actions that can make that person not feel heard or welcome.

Metal space is receiving feedback on your work on how an external source feels and acting upon the change to make your work better.

Metal space is not mass sharing desperately angry and sad news without content warnings. When you don't know who is fighting to keep going on the other side. So they can opt out of the conversation if they choose.

I am not a very emphatic person. Emotions, especially my own confuse and unsettle me. However because I lack empathy I've had to learn how to do Empathic listening (also known as active listening). it builds trust and respect.

it's core to conductive and collaborative problem solving. something i'm very good at doing. When people say, "Listen" they are not saying sit here and read/hear words over and move on. Drink them in, think deeply into it and think about how your actions effect others.

I am not a paragon of it either. I've messed up especially with people I hold dear. But I do hope that those people, know that while I'll mess up I'll spend a long ass time reflecting on how not to do it again and that in my mind there is space for them.

With all these threads/discussions/tools on what is cruelly dubbed "PC culture" No one is saying you are evil for how you think or feel. But your lack of emphatic listening is pushing the smallest of us to the brink when all we want is for you to take a small step in trying.

I've heard "it's how I am", "I'm exhausted.", "it's too hard." "i'm scared of doing it wrong". No matter what the intention of those words the only meaning we hear is "I can't be bothered to truly make space for you."

Space is more than making a physically one, you must also make a mental one or nothing will be solved. And this exhaustive cycle we are in of Fuck up -> Rage -> Ally badge cleaning -> someone please think of the kindness -> silence -> rinse and repeat, will never end.

If you want to learn more about Emphatic listening and how you can actively start listening to the marginalised. Go to google and google "Emphatic listening"