As the 2nd semester started,
I feel sooooooo lazy with my studies, where in I just used to attend classes to sign the attendance sheet, I don't exert much effort on some of my activities & quizzes

I failed on some of my quizzes during this semester, (realtalk) and that doesn't surprised me at all, coz i don't give time to review well.
I failed on some of the quizzes on my major subjectsssss

I realized that i don't excel anymore, that i don't deserve the free tuition fee being granted on me, coz i just feel tired on pressuring myself to become on top, everytimeEee.

It lessens the desire in my heart, to aim for more, to get the (latin honors) that I always dream of,.,

But, i realized that I can't be stuck forever, contentment is a must but being irresponsible on acads is a no-no.

That's why, I reflect on those failed quizzes of mine.,.
Studied them, over all over again, until midterm comes...

I can't put the tension into words because I know that if I also fail my midterm exam, there's a possibility that I wouldn't be a part of the (dean's lister) awardees. Just so u know,
that i have to maintain a GWA of 1.75 and below in every semester

I don't have enough sleep, two weeks before the hell week, i am soooooo stress to let myself understand every detail that I have to memorize, and I kept on blaming myself for neglecting the chances that I should've been more responsible and resourceful w/ time

And so, midterm comes.....
I feel dumb in so many ways that how things turned out to be this hard? That i can't even trust my instincts on choosing the right answers on my testpaper, (in every subject) that i'm in doubt whenever i try to calm myself and trust everything i learned

I just promised to myself, that I have to give my best shots on the final term, unfortunately...
it didn't happen, due to this pandemic
And the university declared to end the S.Y 2019-2020, earlier than expected to avoid confusion of the resume of classes,.,.

(and ofc, to make us safe at all cost) coz our health and safety is their utmost priority

they also announced that our midterm will also be considered as our final grade, and that's not a good news for me at all
Uh-oh

I started on computing my GWA, and anticipating to have a 3.0 grade on some subjects that I know that wouldn't give much of considerations.,.. that's why the given GWA of mine is such a blessing and a surprise at the same time, coz i didn't exert much than expected.

And I also know how our profs based their given grades on just numerical outputs rather than giving some considerations,.. Hehe

And so w/ that,
I maybe did well w/ the midterm exam? Hahaha. Char!

To end this thread,.,

Thankyou God for teaching me a lesson that would remind me to give my best on every opportunities ahead of me, coz second chances aren't always given nor available.

And, thank u self...
for not giving up