I think it‘s important to not respond to someone‘s „I can‘t...“ experience with an „Oh I also can‘t...but I have to anyways because if I didn‘t push through...“

Still being able to do something, even with negative consequences, is not the same as not being able to do it at all.

For all of us there are

things we can do just fine
things we can do but struggle with
things we can do but suffer negative consequences so it would be better if we didn’t have to do them but we might still have to do them and suffer the consequences
...and things we can’t do.

Imagine one person says

„I can‘t do phonecalls.“

...and someone else says

„I also can‘t - but I have to anyways because if I didn‘t I wouldn‘t have a job.“

It‘s minimizing, it‘s implying the first is a choice, it‘s implying the first could do it, if they actually had to etc.

The difference between

„I can‘t do this.“

and

„I can‘t do this without suffering negative consequences.“

is VERY important and must not be erased.

It‘s important to believe people when they say they can‘t do something.

No, they couldn’t do it „if they really had to“.

No, they‘re not privileged because „they can choose“ not to do it.

Understand they actually can‘t do it & there’s consequences for not being able to do it.

„I can‘t grocery shop on my own.“

„I really can‘t either...but I have to because otherwise I wouldn‘t have food to eat and I‘d starve.“

„Yeah well...I actually can‘t. If I don‘t have help I don‘t eat and I starve...“

Can‘t ≠ Can‘t without suffering negative consequences

Let‘s not do this to each other.

It‘s okay to respond to someone sharing an

„I can‘t“

with an

„I don‘t know what not being able to do that at all is like...but I also really struggle with it.“

We don‘t have to minimize to relate to others or share our own struggle.