I know that bisexuals crafted guidelines and placed pansexuality under it. So pansexuality is considered part of bisexuality by many. First, I don't dispute anyone's identification of their sexuality. Everyone's sexuality shld be recognized as valid. Of course.

However, I am not bisexual. I'm not saying this because I am biphobic. I'm saying this because I am not bisexual. Pansexuality has two definitions currently. One is attraction to all genders. The other is attraction regardless of gender.

I am not attracted to all genders. I'm not attracted by gender at all. For so long, I thought that was weird and kind of suppressed it, but I don't want to do that anymore. However, I'm running into intense stress, bias, and bigotry in the LGBTQIA community abt pansexuality.

First, I'm finding a lot of bisexuals who tell me one of the following things: 1. I must also be bisexual at the same time. 2. Pansexuality is a fancy pretentious way of saying bisexuality so you fit in better. 3. Pansexuality doesn't exist.

And then, I'm finding a lot of heterosexual ppl parroting or saying these same things and don't even get me started with the pan joke or the way heterosexuals think I must be up for sleeping w/everyone. Lots of sex all the time! With anyone who asks! (no)

But that behavior I expected. Hell, I grew up in the South. I was stupid and didn't expect it within the LGBTQIA community I've been sort of watching nervously from the sidelines and wondering how or if I fit in. I mean, do I fit in? Everyone is attracted to one gender or another

Or many or several. And I'm not attracted to gender at all. If bisexuality is attraction to two or more genders, and I'm not attracted to gender at all, and pansexuality is a subset of bisexuality, well, it kind of leaves me without an identity, doesn't it?

And when I discuss it, a lot of ppl don't seem to know what I'm talking abt. I have to wonder if they cannot imagine not being attracted and using gender as a factor of attraction and so they can't get to where I am.

I feel most comfortable discussing these topics with Ace ppl who seem to get where I'm coming from. I'm also demisexual so that IS under the Ace umbrella, which does make sense to me as Ace has very fluid definitions. Plus, no one Ace insists I have to be one way only.

I wonder, and know it will piss ppl off because it already has, but I feel it is also valid to say pansexuality and bisexuality are not the same thing for many ppl ...

... and that insisting that they must go together is just as bad as insisting that someone who holds the older definitions dear to their heart must change their status. Bisexuality is attraction to two or more genders. I do not have an attraction to gender. I feel a bit erased.

I'm starting to think I shldn't have told anyone anything. My friends out here think my rights are disposable and keep asking me questions abt trans ppl which ... I'm not trans so I can't answer those questions fully and it's weird.And on here, my identity is invalidated entirely