Just been advised by a champion mate that he’s waiting on a qtr of a bottle of Iced Magic to do its thing over a qtr tub of premium French Vanilla ice cream ahead of a Grand Designs binge-watch.

No one’s afternoon could possibly top this, surely?

The sheer bliss of choc-ice while Kevin McLoud looks disapprovingly through the shell of a former chook shed in Twickenham purchased for £7squillion, while the voice over intones:

“It’s becoming clear that Constance and Jeremy *may* have bitten off more than they can chew”

23 mins in: "Constance and Jeremy& #39;s budget blow-out due to planning delays mean that she& #39;s had to go back to working at her father& #39;s merchant bank, while Jeremy& #39;s taken on part-time work as a sommelier at a local day care centre..."

32mins: "The project is now running six years over schedule, and Constance and Jeremy are beginning to get their neighbours off-side."

*Peter Cook voice* Well, it& #39;s day & #39;n night wif the fucking drilling & banging, innit. I mean is this any way to run a fucking ballroom?