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As promised #miltwitter, heres my thoughts on toxic leadership.
Im a glass half full kind of guy and try to find positives in everything (see MQ thread for example!).Having been on the receiving end of some seriously toxic leadership, I can confirm there are positives to be had
Im a glass half full kind of guy and try to find positives in everything (see MQ thread for example!).Having been on the receiving end of some seriously toxic leadership, I can confirm there are positives to be had
Let’s take a brief look at possibly the most famous toxic leader; Captain Herbert W Sobel. Excellently portrayed in band of brothers he was basically an asshole to Easy Company. His strict demeanour and harsh nature covered a deep insecurity and general incompetence.
He rose to the rank of Lt Col, but in his twilight years became bitter/angry and, after a failed suicide attempt died through malnutrition and neglect in a retirement home. This was 1987 - before BoB.
Switching fire. I deployed on a sunshine tour many years ago. CO was an undeniable belter. Widely acknowledged that he might have made an OK Sect 2IC at best. He was angry. He was incompetent. He was not very bright. And he enjoyed intimidating his soldiers and officers
I recall one time when he decided to clamp down on “inappropriate relationships” and ended up sending 7 people home following dawn raids in various rooms. He then announced to the regiment that “he didn’t care what people did as long as they don’t shit on their own doorstep”.
Many marriages ended on that tour largely because of him. He lived by his own mantra though as demonstrated when he necked off with a barmaid, knocked a chap out and ended up in a cell (picked up by his driver the next day). No fellow soldiers/officers involved though 
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Anyway, this isn’t a bitching session - plenty of stories on the guy but I just wanted to paint a picture.
The point is, he set the standard, and that standard was toxic. This created three camps; enablers, grey men, and the good guys.
The point is, he set the standard, and that standard was toxic. This created three camps; enablers, grey men, and the good guys.
The enablers (or feeders as we liked to call them because they resembled that little thing that hangs around jabba the hut in Star Wars) were, encouragingly, few and far between. But the environment enhanced their impact/presence. Snorkelers gonna snorkel!
The grey men were interesting. Some really good folk. The intensity of the environment created by the CO though forced them underground. They kept their head down, just got on with it. Still though, a relatively small group.
Where the real lesson to be learned is with the “good guys”. The toxicity of the CO essentially created a sub culture of leadership. A team and a bond, unified in one purpose; protecting the reputation of the regiment, the army and its people from this idiot man.
This bond remains strong years (decades actually) later. We still regularly meet. Across cap badge, and mess (SNCO’s all the way up to Maj’s of the time). The “good guys” made up the vast majority of the Regt although we might not have seen it at the time.
Quite clearly, the lessons learned on how not to be a leader were plentiful - I still regularly think what would he have done, and then do the exact opposite. I truly believe you have something to learn from EVERYONE you meet...!
There’s some deeper lessons here though. I think a true toxic leader behaves like they do because they’re covering up their own insecurities. In my example, it was quite clear that he was so far out of his depth he was probably scared. That manifested itself as twatish behaviour
He left the Army not long after that tour and went and worked for a well known company who sacked him for, you’ve guessed it, being a twat! Last I heard, he was spotted at an old boys dinner night sat in the corner of the officers mess, drunk, angrily ranting about
How weak the military is now and how much harder it was in his day. I genuinely hope he finds some peace and doesn’t end up like Sobel.
Incidentally the last time I saw the fellow officers/SNCO’s from that Regt was a couple of years ago at an Officers mess at 4 in the morning drinking jaeger, spinning dits about that tour and the CO.
Easy company we were not! We were just a bunch of knobs running around getting hammered!
But, inadvertently, the poor behaviour of the man at the top brought out the best in a lot of the guys/girls on that tour as we struggled to protect good soldiers from, in some cases, quite literally having their careers ruined for ridiculous reasons.
It was a rough time but it did shape me and I’m better for it. I used to like to think it was a mega clever kind of double bluff by the CO, like he was willing to be hated to make us better. Then I found out about his sacking and drunkarn ramblings. Now I just feel sorry for him.
If you’re going through it now, I’d offer the following:
1. It can make you a better person
2. Protect your people at all costs
3. Don’t harbour bitterness; toxic leaders are generally just scared idiots
4. Bond with like minds to make the good stronger
1. It can make you a better person
2. Protect your people at all costs
3. Don’t harbour bitterness; toxic leaders are generally just scared idiots
4. Bond with like minds to make the good stronger
5. If you feel out of your depth, anger is not the solution. Talk to someone before you become a sobel or worse - my ex CO!
Anyway, that’s my thoughts. Man, Twitter is way better and cheaper than a therapist!!
