Okay, here’s a funny little ranting thread called “Really Dumb Shit I Did When I Was Little To Get Out Of Social Situations”

I was just talking to my dad about one thing I did then it made me remember a couple more & I’m CRACKING UP. I was so terriblehttps://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="💀" title="Skull" aria-label="Emoji: Skull"> And STUPIDhttps://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😂" title="Face with tears of joy" aria-label="Emoji: Face with tears of joy">

Here we go!

Okay so the back story is that I’ve always been an introverted bish haha surprise surprise, I’ve never been much for social events. Well when I was younger my family was very involved with church & would go to a LOT of church events. My problem was, I would not want to go to +

+ one unless I had at least one of my friends there. Unfortunately that couldn’t always happen, but my parents would still try to force me to go, so I used to fake injuries... A LOT https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🥴" title="Woozy face" aria-label="Emoji: Woozy face">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😂" title="Face with tears of joy" aria-label="Emoji: Face with tears of joy">

My most common was a sprained ankle. It was easy to fake, at least with my parents, because+

+ you don’t really need any physical proof, they used to just believe me if I say I twisted it & cried about it. https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😂" title="Face with tears of joy" aria-label="Emoji: Face with tears of joy">

However there was one time I decided to take it further... not sure why, maybe the event was more “important” & I thought they were going to be way stricter with +

+ me & my usual routine wouldn’t work, idk. But I have such a vague memory of sitting on our downstairs bathroom floor... with an aerosol can of air freshener... and beating my ankle with it.

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🥴" title="Woozy face" aria-label="Emoji: Woozy face">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🥴" title="Woozy face" aria-label="Emoji: Woozy face">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😂" title="Face with tears of joy" aria-label="Emoji: Face with tears of joy">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😂" title="Face with tears of joy" aria-label="Emoji: Face with tears of joy">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😂" title="Face with tears of joy" aria-label="Emoji: Face with tears of joy"> WTF, RIGHT? Like, faking it this time? NAH WE NEED A REAL INJURY. I think +

+ I was trying to give myself a bruise so I could be like “hey!! I REALLY sprained it this time!! Here’s physical evidence!” I don’t think I ended up making a bruise or at least not right then because for the most part that isn’t how bruises work https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="💀" title="Skull" aria-label="Emoji: Skull"> And I think it hurt, obvi, so+

+ younger me being the wuss she was (ok I still kinda am one tbh) stopped after a little https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😂" title="Face with tears of joy" aria-label="Emoji: Face with tears of joy">

I have another one to add to this thread that I actually forgot about but remembered as I was talking to my dad about the first one. So there was one time where again I wanted to get out+

+ of SOMETHING (man I wish I could remember all these events I tried to avoid so bad https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😂" title="Face with tears of joy" aria-label="Emoji: Face with tears of joy">) & again I picked the sprained ankle route. But this time... I picked probably a way more evil route https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🥴" title="Woozy face" aria-label="Emoji: Woozy face">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😂" title="Face with tears of joy" aria-label="Emoji: Face with tears of joy">

So I went to the bottom of my basement steps. And, uh... laid down. In such a way +

+ that it would appear that I... fell. Down the stairs. And that’s how I hurt my ankle. https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🤦🏻‍♀️" title="Woman facepalming (light skin tone)" aria-label="Emoji: Woman facepalming (light skin tone)">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🤦🏻‍♀️" title="Woman facepalming (light skin tone)" aria-label="Emoji: Woman facepalming (light skin tone)">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😂" title="Face with tears of joy" aria-label="Emoji: Face with tears of joy">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😂" title="Face with tears of joy" aria-label="Emoji: Face with tears of joy">

Then turn on performance me. I started to cry for my mom all like “help me I fellllll” & then when she came I told her I fell down some steps & hurt my anklehttps://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🥴" title="Woozy face" aria-label="Emoji: Woozy face"> AND SHE BELIEVED MEhttps://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😂" title="Face with tears of joy" aria-label="Emoji: Face with tears of joy">+

+ I wish I could remember what her actual reaction was LMAOOO I can only imagine I probably severely concerned her & freaked her out. I WAS SO EVIL TFFFF LMAOO

Oh yeah & something else I just remembered (it doesn’t stop guys https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😂" title="Face with tears of joy" aria-label="Emoji: Face with tears of joy">) I once made myself throw up because I didn’t want+

+ to go to some youth group event https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🥴" title="Woozy face" aria-label="Emoji: Woozy face">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🥴" title="Woozy face" aria-label="Emoji: Woozy face">
It was funny because I have never been able to make myself throw up. To this day I can’t. But back on that day... I tried so hard https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😂" title="Face with tears of joy" aria-label="Emoji: Face with tears of joy"> And I only had THE SMALLEST AMOUNT of throw up EVER. I was praying it would be enough &... it was https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😂" title="Face with tears of joy" aria-label="Emoji: Face with tears of joy"> +

+ Honestly I’m not sure why my mom kept believing me time after time https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🥴" title="Woozy face" aria-label="Emoji: Woozy face">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😂" title="Face with tears of joy" aria-label="Emoji: Face with tears of joy"> She’s not dumb by any means but she still always believed me despite I probably wasn’t the best actor lol or maybe she did know I was lying but felt bad for me & felt bad for trying to force me to go to +

+ these events so she just acted like she believed me https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="💀" title="Skull" aria-label="Emoji: Skull"> Idk man. I wonder if it would have been my dad judging all this, what would have happened but he was working all the time so he was barely exposed to this evilness https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😂" title="Face with tears of joy" aria-label="Emoji: Face with tears of joy">

I feel like I vaguely remember that night I forced +

+ myself to throw up that he saw everything & he didn’t really buy it but it was too late because my mom had already believed it so https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😂" title="Face with tears of joy" aria-label="Emoji: Face with tears of joy">

Anyway don’t take after me y’all lol kinda stupid to realize I would try to ACTUALLY hurt myself sometimes to get out of 3 hour events https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🥴" title="Woozy face" aria-label="Emoji: Woozy face">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🤡" title="Clown face" aria-label="Emoji: Clown face">

Or maybe the point of this thread is don’t force your kids to do shit they don’t wanna do... https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🤷🏻‍♀️" title="Woman shrugging (light skin tone)" aria-label="Emoji: Woman shrugging (light skin tone)"> They’ll still find ways to get out of it, some downright harmful! Maybe just listen to them & allow them not to go so they don’t beat their ankle with a can to get out of something https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🙃" title="Upside-down face" aria-label="Emoji: Upside-down face">