1/7 i can understand the frustration at seeing young women calling themselves "nonbinary" and "agender" and what feels like "literally anything but a woman" but in my case i honestly feel it had little to do with internalised misogny & more about being susceptible to social

2/7 influences & deferring to outside judgement on important things. when you spend all your time entrenched in an online culture, and everyone in that culture talks about certain facts with such a feeling of authority, you learn to accept them as true - i mean, it made sense to

3/7 me, i knew basically nothing about trans people or being trans, ofc these trans people know better than me, they're the experts. you hear a lot of things on tumblr: "you don't have to have dysphoria to be trans" "anyone can be trans" "have you questioned your gender lately?"

4/7 so i questioned. i questioned really hard! i spent hours over days googling "how do you know what your gender is?" and "what does gender feel like?" because ofc i'd done my reading and learned that gender has nothing to do with your biology, appearance, interests or hobbies,

5/7 sexuality, colour preferences, clothing preferences, the way you present, ETC, so i was like well what IS it then? all i got was stuff along the lines of "only you can decide" and "it's different for everyone" faced with such vague answers & looking inwards for some vague

6/7 metaphysical spiritual concept i couldn't find all i could think was "maybe i don't have one of these??" and that's why i thought i was agender aka didn't have a gender, was missing that innate sense that apparently everyone else had. bc i had subscribed to the paradigm of

7/7 "everyone has their own gender" and this was the only way for me to understand myself within it.