Before i get into this just know i dont fucking like group projects heres the exact reason why. Senior year of high school we had a final project due worth like 30% or 40% of our grade. The teacher let us know at the beginning of the semester and i knew i was fucked (1/15) https://twitter.com/imsorenflying/status/1265465538907648000

Bc remember how in hs sometimes u were assigned to sit with a certain table group? I was sitting with tweedle dee tweedle dum and their pet poodle tweedle dink. I have history with them. Freshman year of high school first day of school they cut me in the lunch line took

the last of the nuggets I had to work my way through mystery meat or i’d starve until 3pm. Every time we had teams in P.E. they’d pick me last. Do i look like a last choice? And at this point i’ve been named nike since 1997 i have heard every shoe joke under the sun but u know

when some people make a joke u laugh and other people make a joke u just go “ Damn u get on my last nerve.” Fast forward to senior year. Normally i like being the smartest person in any particular group of people but these people were so dumb i was amazed.

Truly taken aback by their collective stupidity. And on top of that they seemed to have forgotten what they put me through cuz suddenly it was buddy buddy suddenly it was “nike did you do the hw” “wow nike the reading was hard huh” “omg nike how did u do so well on the test ”

So here i hatched a plan. I would befriend them. Now u may be thinking nike what’s your fat voluptuous move the earth when you walk put pressure onto the san andreas fault line ass doing being friends with musty and the gang? Ur above this! But i had a plan.

I spent the second semester of my senior year doing my hw in 2 versions: The version i would turn in fr and the version i would let them copy. I would tell them to change the answers a lil so the teacher couldn’t tell but if they changed it they would just be getting more wrong.

And when we compared hw i would pull out the version i let them copy where i forged the teachers notes in red pen being like awwwwhh looks like we got the same ones wrong :( They trusted me. They thought i was vying for their approval thats why i was doing what i did.

Heres where the trifling comes in. We’re voting for senior superlatives. Albert einstein isaac newton and aristotle decided to put me up for Most Likely To Spend Their Life In Jail. That’s what ur gonna put me up for when i have this award winning smile?