Short depression/music thread to get some thoughts out.

When I'm feeling down, for some reason, all I really want is to delve further into it. Like, seeing positive messages and such doesn't really do a thing for me, it just makes me feel more disconnected. So that gets

reflected in my choice of music. I've been listening a lot to Armor For Sleep's "What To Do When You Are Dead" lately (apparently 23 times in the last three months?) because it does that for me. It contains all of the negative emotion. All of the rage at yourself and those around

you. All of the uncertainty about whether you belong. All of the regret and melancholy. Although it seems to mostly be centered on a love interest (which I can't relate to easily), it explores things from all these different angles. And it never says to me that I'm wrong to feel

bad. In fact, it has kind of a downer ending that says quite the opposite. But there's comfort in that. For some reason, its lonely, despondent conclusion helps me keep going. Someone else has felt that exact way, and they're not talking down to me about it. It's nice to think

about it in the extreme like that, and then the album ends, and I'm back in reality, carrying on in my own way. It's not heaven, but ultimately I control whether and where I go. Sinking deeper helps me see clearer in its own way.

I know this thread sounds REALLY negative, but it's really just about coping mechanisms. Media that makes me feel worse now lets me feel better later. I think that's roughly what's going on.

Anyway, I could talk about that album forever, but y'all ain't here for that