Thread-
Today, after watching the weaponization of whiteness against two Black men, one who could have ended up dead, and one who was absolutely murdered in front of a crowd, I have done some reflecting on my past. The things I did that did not affect my future. Here’s a story-

2/ in about 1995 or 6 I was 21. Driving a 1989 Thunderbird Super Coupe. Went out with a buddy and his girlfriend to the Thunderdome in Louisville KY for dollar beer night. Had about 8-10. Driving home, started to feel cocky about the fast car I was driving and wanted to show off.

3/Crossing the bridge back into southern Indiana, I stomped that pedal and got that baby up to 135mph. As I came off the bridge, I hear my buddy yell “COP!!” So what did I do? I fucking ran. I worked that gearbox like it owed me money. I was doing 135 in a 35.

4/ I hit the first exit that was a sharp long turn and rated for 25 mph at about 75. Blew through the light at the bottom and took off weaving and blowing many lights. Parked, shaking, sweating, exhilarated. I GOT AWAY!

5/ We waited a few minutes and got back on the road. Got stopped by a 4 car train before the entrance ramp to the highway. Tires and brake lines smoking. Right as the train passes, the cop drives by, sees me and pulls me over. Ultimately we counted 8 cop cars showed up.

6/ The cop comes up and I am shotgunning a cigarette to hide the smell of cheap beer. I toss it out as he walks up and it lands on his shoe. I am taken out of the car and stood there contemplating the end of my life. Cops EVERYWHERE.

7/ I blew a 0.08 on the breathalyzer. The legal limit was still .10 then, and I must have still been going up based on how many beers I drank. Cop asks me WTF I was thinking and I make up a story that I am dating the girl in the front, and she wanted to see how fast it could go.

8/He did tow my car, & gave me a reckless driving ticket. And put me and my friends in the cruiser and took us to a gas station so my sis could come get us. I was given 40 hrs of community service and only completed 8 because I hated it and they didn’t seem to be tracking well.

9/ at no time was I handcuffed. At no time was I touched. At no time did I have a gun in my face. At no time did I fear for my physical life, only my future with a record. It never occurred to me that if he had rolled up on a fast car with tinted windows with 3 drunk black kids-

10/ that things could have turned out so differently. I went through life without so much as a blemish on my record, and took my happy ass to medical school. So many wouldn’t have that chance.

11/ white people- it’s going to have to be us that stand up. It’s going to have to be us that shouts down racism. It’s going to have to be us that changes this system from the inside out. It was built for us, by our people. We will have to make it better.

12/ we can’t just ask our brothers and sisters of color to get over the past. We have to create the staircase that allows for them to walk out of the hole our ancestors threw their ancestors in. This has to be done actively, not passively. Make racism painful. Shout it down.

13/ Let’s all walk into what’s next together, heads high. Be the change. Make it happen. Remember. #AmaudArbery #GeorgeFloyd #EmmettTill and so many more. Remember their names. And make the world better for the men and women who share their melanin concentration.