Read on Twitter
CW genitals, mutilation
Need to move on, but I’m still shaken by what I woke up to. I keep trying to see where I fucked up, but I didn’t. Slandered because people tried to claim a literal scar on my body as their own, demanding an apology for being scarred by the wrong culture.
Need to move on, but I’m still shaken by what I woke up to. I keep trying to see where I fucked up, but I didn’t. Slandered because people tried to claim a literal scar on my body as their own, demanding an apology for being scarred by the wrong culture.
I acknowledge my whiteness, but this is not fucking okay. Am I insane here? If I fucked up, PLEASE dm me and show me how, but don’t bother if you’re just going to scream antisemite at me, or pretend gentiles aren't scarred by this, or if you think tradition>bodily autonomy
Fuck it, I need to vent, and since I live on Twitter now it goes here. This will get ugly
Do you know what my circumcision is to me? A dedication of my body to a church that taught me to hate myself. A flesh sacrifice to a God who hates me
Do you know what my circumcision is to me? A dedication of my body to a church that taught me to hate myself. A flesh sacrifice to a God who hates me
CW Self harm
And to make matter worse, I fucking hate my penis. My brain doesn't think it's supposed to be there. It sees it as an abnormal growth, and I have had compulsions since I was a child to get it off by any means necessary.
And to make matter worse, I fucking hate my penis. My brain doesn't think it's supposed to be there. It sees it as an abnormal growth, and I have had compulsions since I was a child to get it off by any means necessary.
It's a testament to my survival instincts that I didn't seriously hurt myself, and there were several close calls as a teenager. Before I even knew what trans was, I had figured out how to have an ic orchi after college. I'm safe now, and transitioning has calmed a lot of this
But to have this scar there, of all places... it is such an insult. It's profane. I went through this because the church had me scared of my own shadow. I believed in hell. It kept me awake at night. I would think of all the ways I would be tormented if I set one toe out of line
CW transphobia, homophobia
And I didn't understand what gay meant! I thought gay meant feminine. Like you were so feminine that you started liking boys. I thought trans was gay but a step beyond. Being gay was the one unforgivable sin. Any time I was feminine, I corrected it
And I didn't understand what gay meant! I thought gay meant feminine. Like you were so feminine that you started liking boys. I thought trans was gay but a step beyond. Being gay was the one unforgivable sin. Any time I was feminine, I corrected it
It took years to heal from what the church did to my psyche. By the time I was willing to look into LGBT issues, I was 23, effectively engaged, and it just felt too late. Plus I still had lingering misconceptions about having to be hyperfeminine to be trans
My trauma is tied to religion. Circumcision is a permanent religious scar. I am fortunate that I will one day have access to bottom surgery. I'm not an activist against it particularly, but I will always speak out for bodily autonomy and freedom from religion
I am not anti religious. I don't even consider myself an atheist. Everyone has a right to their beliefs. I don't think something has to be scientifically proven or even real to be helpful. But you cannot use it to harm others. physically or mentally
I was retweeted as an example of antisemitism for lamenting that I was circumcised, questioning how it's still legal, but accepting that the religious majority will stop it from being banned. I was told my trauma wasn't mine to claim because I am not Jewish. This is wrong
It's not the bit of flesh. I hate my genitals. They could have reduced it to a clit and castrated me, and I would have been better for it, but to have that done against my will would have been an atrocity, and I have deep sadness for the intersex community to who this done
It could have been a piercing or a tattoo. This isn't the point. To be physically scarred by the organization who ruined the first 30 years of my life hurts. This is my real pain. It is not yours to claim because the particular scar was stolen from your organization
I have said things here I never intended to share publicly. I don't seek pity here. I am a survivor, and I finally respect myself enough to defend my name, Chloe, the name I chose for myself, the name I sacrificed everything for, the name you can't take away from me
