Shout out to Dimitri von Blaiddyd’s absolute Swiss Colony Beef Log of a dick
Raise a glass to the single most fearsome feral hog only contained by a few laces and some probably unwashed trousers
A moment of silence for an absolute log flume of a cock, just a full splash mountain
Pour one out for a dick that springs out like the single biggest snake out of one of those prank cans (confetti and honking noises optional, encouraged)
RIP to Dimitri von Blaiddyd, a man who can rip a man’s head off with one hand but is physically unable to say any variation of “penis” out loud.
Happy whatever day is his birthday to Dimitri, who learns to brush his own hair at some point before his 30th birthday but not much sooner than that, but god can he lay pipe 🍺
Gentle blessings to a man with tits that belong in a museum, a heart made of spun sugar and nails, and taste buds that have his friends forcibly prying his favorite snack, “pop tarts with tomato sauce and cheese curds,” out of his meaty hands
You can follow @oversized_frog.
Tip: mention @twtextapp on a Twitter thread with the keyword “unroll” to get a link to it.

Latest Threads Unrolled: