this is really hard for me to say, but the very first thing I think when I meet someone new is “what if they don’t like black people?”. I hate to admit that I walk into every friendship thinking that way, but I do. (Thread)

In the beginning of some of my closest friendships, this question has been in the back of my mind. And I really wish it wasn’t. I’ve been friends with people who I thought were really friends and it turns out they secretly hate my race. it’s really hard to come back from that.

when I was little, I wanted to be friends with everyone. I didn’t really know what racism was until I moved and heard racist jokes, slurs, etc. for a little girl that saw the best in everyone, it was hard for me to accept that some people wouldn’t like me, because I was black.

And now, being older and seeing how the world is, it’s still hard for me to wrap my head around these things. I live in a generally white area. My friends are mostly white. It’s hard for me to express what I’m feeling because it’s not relatable for them. Which is nobody’s fault.

This is something I’ve been holding in for a really long time and I just needed to get it off my chest. There’s so much going on right now, in the world. And it’s hard to see whether it be on ig, Twitter, tiktok, etc. Ik this is so choppy & there’s so much more but idk.