I know its way past Shiro's birthday but hear me out.

#sheith au where Keith works at Chuck E Cheese (and yes he hates it as much as you'd expect) but it pays the bills and gives him the flexible hours he needs to be double majoring in astrophysics and mechanical engineering

Weeks are the absolute worst though, especially when Keith gets put on birthday duty. There's nothing he loathes more than entertaining roudy groups of kids who scream in his ear, cry when they don't get their tickets and touch everything with their grubby, sticky hands

Most of the time Lance is on party duty, partly because he's naturally good with kids (something Keith will never admit out loud ever because that would mean giving lance a compliment) and partly because Keith once accidentally made the birthday boy cry at a party

Ever since then the manager has done anything and everything he could to not schedule Keith as a party host. Usually he's stuck behind the counter watching kids act like choosing between a Frisbee so small you can't actually throw it

and a ten cent pack of smarties their parents probably dropped thirty bucks on tokens on is the hardest decision they'll ever make.

Usually.

Except this Saturday when Lance calls out sick and Keith is forced on party duty. All day.

On a weekend.

He gets punch spilled on his sneakers, has a kid sneeze cake on his face and has to sing happy birthday like he cares no less than five times in six hours. By the end of his shift he's about ready to launch himself into the sun.

His sole consolation is that he's finished parties

Or at least that's what he thinks. Until his manager comes over and tells him someone dropped a very, very large sum of money for a last minute party for some kid named Shiro who is turning 7.

"No," Keith says, because hes off the clock in 20 minutes and this is not his problem

"I'll pay you double time and send you home with a large pizza," the manager says, looking frazzled.

Keith is no idiot. No one says no to double pay and free pizza. No one.

Which is exactly how he ends up staying past his shift, knee deep in the back blowing up a stupid amount of balloons (including a massive number 7) and setting up a party in the private party room in the back.

Decorating is not exactly Keith's forte but he has enough experience its not a complete shit show. There are ugly paper plates with giant chuck e cheese at every place setting, cards with unlimited play for every person and ever little goodie bags with chuck e cheese tattoos.

It makes Keith's skin crawl and he knows he's gonna have nightmares tonight after how many times he's been forced to see Hunk come out in the giant chuck e cheese suit to sing to the birthday kids.

"Pizza and money. Pizza and money," he chants to himself.

It's rough going because Saturday nights are basically hell on earth with too many kids running wild and pre-teens who think they're too cool for chuck e cheese hanging out by the soda machine acting like the free refills of soda are some illicit beverage.

Eventually the time comes though and Keith counts down the minutes. Then he counts some more because whoever this party for is late.

It's no skin off Keith's nose since the room is pre-paid for an hour and a half whether they show up or not.

If they don't Keith went to all this worth for nothing which seems kind of annoying but if they do then he has to sing happy birthday again and crown another birthday prince or princess which he's had enough of for a lifetime.

At 20 after Keith's almost given up. Almost.

Keith's never been one to give up so he waits another ten minutes.

After half an hour he's all but resigned himself to going to tell the manager their last minute party is a no show where the door slams open and the most beautiful man Shiro has ever seen comes in.

Blindfolded.

Keith barely has time to take in the guys perfectly tailored suit and his shiny shoes which look like they cost more than Keith makes in a month before an actual goddess of a women is stepping around him.

“Just this way, Shiro,” she says, and even her voice is melodic and regal.

Keith’s so preoccupied wondering what the fuck two people who look like that are doing here when he realizes what the woman called him.

Shiro.

Shiro the birthday boy.

Which makes no sense because this guy isn’t turning seven. Maybe it’s the attractive couples son. None of that would explain the blindfold though.

“Where are we and why are there so many screaming kids?” Shiro asks.

Keith resists the urge to tell them they’re in the third level of hell pretty sure his boss won’t send him joke with his pizza if he does that.

“I told you it’s a surprise. It’s not every day a young man turns seven.”

Seven.

What the fuck, Keith thinks.

What the fuck.

“Oh my god, Allura. What have you done?” Shiro laughs, allowing himself to be manhandled and led to the chair at the head of the table. It’s got a little plastic cover and balloons tied to the back and the paper plate even has a paper crown.

Reality is starting to set in for Keith who is doing his best not to pass out.

“I’m only doing what you deserve, sweetheart.” She pushes him down into the chair and kisses the top of his hair which is pitch white and falling across his forehead and the black silk blindfold.

Keith bites back a wave of jealousy. They’re cute together and at least this way Keith can ogle the birthday boy in secret guilty peace without bothering to remind himself that he’s way out of his league since he’s apparently taken.

“Just sit here, I’ll be right back,” the woman tells Shiro, patting his head and moving towards the exit. She waggles her finger and it takes Keith a moment to realize she’s gesturing at him.

He trips over his own feet following her out of the room.

“Sorry we were late. Shiro doesn’t understand the meaning of taking time off work, even on his birthday. Lance told me you’d do a good job setting up but this is even better than I imagined especially the crown I can’t wait to see his face.”

“You know lance?”

It’s the only part of her sentence that Keith latches on to, his confusion mounting.

She smiles, pushing back a loose curl. “Of course. He’s my boyfriend.”

“Wait, you’re Allura? Lance’s allura?” Keith croaks, some of the puzzle pieces slotting together.

“Of course. He’s a sweetheart isn’t he?”

“But you and he—“ Keith bites off, looking through the glass door at Shiro who is sitting with his hands folded in his lap not peeking like a good boy.

“Me and Shiro? Oh my goodness no. Aside from the fact that I’m in love with Lance, Shiro is one hundred percent gay.”

Keith’s brain definitely short circuits.

“I thought lance made you up,” Keith mutters, embarrassed at having told lance he was lying about her.

“Well you’re just as charming as Lance indicated,” which is a far deal more polite than Keith probably deserves. “Anyway, Keith—may I call you keith?”

Keith nods.

“Today is my best friends birthday and he’s had a rough go of it the last few years. I want him to have fun.”

“You’re at Chuck E. Cheese on a Saturday,” Keith deadpans, unable to help himself.

Allura laughs. “Yes well let’s just say Shiro had this coming. Besides he never had a party like this as a kid. It’s as much to tease him as it is for fun.”

“What exactly is it you need me for?” Keith asks, still watching Shiro through the window.

“I just think you and Shiro would get along,” she says, a flush rising high on her cheeks.

“Oh my god are you trying to set us up?”

Allura is definitely blushing now. “Shiro is a good man. He works too much and he...he deserves to have fun. Lance has talked about you before and I saw a few photos on his Instagram. Shiro thought you were cute. But don’t tell him I told you or he will die.”

“Why, is he embarrassed?” Keith asks. “Because uh...I hardly doubt I’m that guys type.”

Even from outside the room he can see Shiro’s perfectly trimmed undercut, rippling muscles and sleek suit. Meanwhile Keith hasn’t brushed his hair in two days and smells like breadsticks.

“You might be surprised,” Allura says, smoothing her hands down her dress.

“So is that uh what you called me out here for?” Keith mumbles, pretty sure she’s got to be wrong but seeing no point in arguing.

It’ll be obvious enough when Shiro’s blindfold comes off and he gets a look at Keith’s pizza stained polo shirt, khakis with a glob of cotton candy stuck to them and questionable red sneakers.

“Oh no, I wanted a video of Shiro’s reaction. For Instagram.”

“Wow you’re brutal,” Keith laughs, taking her cell phone.

“He’s had this coming since freshman year. Besides he’s a good sport and he blushes easy. Just...record. Can I count on you?

“Sure,” Keith mumbles.

“So are you finally gonna tell me what’s going on?” Shiro asks the second they’re inside the door.

Allura glances down at her watch then over at Keith. He gives her a thumbs up and she nods. Just before she starts counting hunk comes in his Chuck E. Cheese furry suit.

Behind him is the manager carrying a cake with a photo of a very chubby baby, it’s naked butt in the air and displayed for all the see in crappy imitation buttercream. Allura must’ve brought it because they don’t do photo cakes.

Keith’s Barry got time to wonder if this Shiro guys butt is still so round when Allura shoots him a thumbs up. He jabs his thumb on the record button, phone panning around the room to take in the decor before landing on Shiro as Allura pulls off the blindfold.

The reaction is comical and Keith understands exactly why Allura wanted to record it.

“Happy Birthday, Shiro,” Allura cheers, looking gleeful as Shiro’s eyes widen. She jabs the paper crown on his head then nods to the manager who begins to sing.

With knows that’s his cue to join in so he starts to sing too and the second he does Shiro’s eyes travel from the giant man in a mouse suit to Keith and his face goes red as a tomato.

The more he blushes the louder allura and the manager, and by osmosis Keith—sing.

Yes possibly the most surreal birthday Keith has ever hosted.

Keith keeps looking from the tiny phone screen up to Shiro himself, unable to believe a man who looks like that could be real.

If they were anywhere else keotg would definitely be half hard already just looking at him. As it is the shitty ambiance and the singing mouse sort of kill the mood.

It’s hard to notice the way Shiro is watching him though. He can’t help but wonder if maybe allura wasn’t wrong.

It feels too impossible to be true but then so does singing Happy Birthday to a man who looks like he stepped out of Keith's dreams being sung happy birthday as he sits in a too small plastic chair with a paper crown with Keith's sloppy handwritten 7 on the front.

"I can't believe you let me wear this suit here. I thought you were taking me out," Shiro tells Allura when the birthday song finishes.

Shiro looks torn between laughter and tears. Keith can't blame him.

"I did take you out. Remember when we were nineteen and got drunk at that frat party and you said--"

"I know what I said," Shiro wails, covering his face with his hands.

"I'm making good on my promise. Now blow out your candles."

"Shit, they're paging me," the manager hisses, unexpectedly holding out the cake towards Keith who panics and shoves Allura's phone into his back pocket.

Shiro is watching him as he shuffles across the floor, acutely aware of the way his shoves get stuck to the sticky floor.

"Happy Birthday," Keith mumbles, squatting down with the cake.

Usually when he does this its a snot nosed kid who barely reaches his knee spitting on him when they blow out their candles not a greek god come to life.

It occurs to Keith he could've just set the cake on the table like a normal person but he didn't and now he's kneeling before Shiro holding a cake with his naked baby ass on it while a life sized mouse watches them.

Keith's life is so fucking weird.

"You gonna blow it," Keith asks, his thighs beginning to burn.

It's only when Shiro's face goes redder that Keith realizes what he's said.

"The cake. Blow the cake. I mean the candles. Yeah, blow out the candles," he mumbles, pretending he cant hear hunk and Allura giggling.

“Yeah,” Shiro says, cheeks a pretty pink.

“Don’t forget to make a wish,” Allura yells.

“Better make it a good one. Not every day you turn seven,” Keith tells him, wax from the candles now melting all over the picture of Shiro’s cute baby butt.

“I’m 28,” Shiro says, “you know technically. But it, uh...it is only my seventh official birthday ever.”

He licks his lips and Keith nearly drops the cake in Shiro’s lap.

If he didn’t know better he’d swear this was some kind of practical joke.

Men who looked like Shiro did not stutter and blush over pizza boys from Chuck E. Cheese. They just didn’t.

Except Shiro’s not exactly being shy about his staring and if Keith notices then it must be obvious.

When Shiro does finally blow out the candles it’s a bit of a revelation. His dark eyelashes fan out across his sharp cheekbones and he purses his pretty lips into an O shape and blows so hard keith feels the ghost of his breath across his cheeks.

Its definitely one of the most surreal moments of his life, down on his knees with half a hard on in the midst of well—this.

Maybe it’s the fact that he’s only had two Red Bull and a black coffee or maybe he’s spent so long at work it’s getting to him. Maybe both.

“What did you wish for?” Keith asks, feeling bold.

“Can’t tell you or it won’t come true,” Shiro whispers, his eyes never leaving Keith’s face.

It’s fucking ridiculous the way Shiro is looking at him right now.

Keith doesn’t feel like a leftover breadstick someone stepped on, he feels well—pretty fucking amazing. Keith knows he’s not half bad looking but the uniform, pizza smell and dorky hat don’t do him any favors.

Shiro’s looking at him like he’s some sort of model or something though and it makes it really hard for Keith to feel shy when Shiro is looking at him like he’s the 10,000 ticket price on the top shelf.

“Let me guess, you wished to get the jackpot on ski ball so you have enough tickets to take home your very own plush Chuck E.”

“That’s not exactly what I wished to take home,” Shiro confesses, undoing the top two buttons of his dress shirt and exposing the hollow of his throat.

“Right well that’s our cue to go. Happy birthday, Shiro. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do, be safe and all that Jazz,” Allura says, thankfully dragging hunk from the room.

Keith’s not sure he could’ve said the next bit with Chuck E. Cheese watching him.

“Call it premonition but I suddenly have a very good feeling your wish might come true,” Keith tells him, finally pushing the cake onto the table.

He rises to stand and Shiro has to tip his beach back to look up at Keith.

It makes his paper crown slip sideways and Keith reaches out to straighten it without thinking.

“How long until you’re off?” Shiro asks, catching Keith’s wrist in his hand and holding it gently.

“As soon as your party is over,” Keith says, barely breathing.

“And what if I said I wanted my party to be over right now?”

“I’d say you didn’t have any cake yet birthday boy,” Keith teases, surprised by his own words.

Shiro laughs, eyes twinkling as he strokes his thumb over Keith’s wrist.

“We could take the cake back to my place and share it with a glass of wine. If you’d like.”

“I mean I really was hoping to take a bite out of that ass,” Keith says.

Shiro looks like he might choke on his tongue but to his credit he doesnt waver. “The cake or my ass?”

“Both,” Keith confesses.

The smile that spreads across Shiro’s face is nothing short of wicked. “I think that could be arranged.”

Keith leaves in such a hurry that night he forgets his pizza, but he ends up pretty full anyway.

Just, not because of pizza.

He also ends up with a new boyfriend so all in all Keith thinks his life is fucking weird but also fucking awesome.

Annnnnd if you read along for this ridiculous thread I hope it made you smile. That’s all folks.