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this thread is called: something that’s been bothering me for weeks that i dont want to vent to my IRLs about :)
so lets talk about this friend. imma just call him K
so lets talk about this friend. imma just call him K
K has
(1) let his roommate convince him to cut me out of his life not once but TWICE despite the fact that we were best friends. the 2nd time K told me it was my fault he didn’t want me around but when i brought it up later he said he didnt remember saying that at all
(1) let his roommate convince him to cut me out of his life not once but TWICE despite the fact that we were best friends. the 2nd time K told me it was my fault he didn’t want me around but when i brought it up later he said he didnt remember saying that at all
(2) despite knowing about my bpd and abandonment issues he never let hs actually talk about how i felt about him abandoning me not once but TWICE. when i tried he said i was “holding it over his head” and “making him feel like an asshole”
(3) knew my boyfriend at the time hated that K and I were so close but let said boyfriend convince him that i was talking shit about him behind his back. instead of talking to me about it (like someone who’s 6 years older than me maybe should) he decided to-
-ignore me outside of work and just constantly yell at me and berate me when we did work together, to the point where i would sit in the parking lot and cry if i saw his car there because i was so terrified of being anywhere near him-
-eventually he told me what had happened and tried to make it my fault at first and then he realized that he probably should have just talked to me about it to begin with because none of what my bf had told him was true
(4) tw// self-harm
K made a joke about my self-harm scars despite knowing how hard and how long i’ve been struggling with it. this was AFTER we’d had our final falling-out. he never actually apologized for that one despite seeing me cry about it
K made a joke about my self-harm scars despite knowing how hard and how long i’ve been struggling with it. this was AFTER we’d had our final falling-out. he never actually apologized for that one despite seeing me cry about it
(5) tw// suicide & self-harm mentions
K would tell me I could talk to him about anything and that if i was ever struggling i could talk to him. but if i ever brought up wanting to kill myself or wanting to hurt myself he’d tell me to shut up because it scared him-
K would tell me I could talk to him about anything and that if i was ever struggling i could talk to him. but if i ever brought up wanting to kill myself or wanting to hurt myself he’d tell me to shut up because it scared him-
-but then he would get angry/upset that i didn’t think i could be open or honest with him
(6) K was talking shit about me and making fun of me to other coworkers. this lead to a lot of arguments about everything mentioned above minus #4 cuz that happened somewhat recently
#6 lead to a full week of us doing nothing but arguing. eventually i told him i no longer wanted him to speak to me. i blocked all of his social media but i had to keep his # unblocked for work purposes
for about a year it was total radio-silence between the two of us. we worked together fine but there was no other contact. WELL. around december 2019 K reached out after a closing shift together and asked me to go to walmart with him?
after that he would text me for about an hour once a week about nothing in particular. it was pretty harmless and i didnt really mind bc despite everything i do still enjoy the conversations we have.
but now we talk for entire days, multiple times a week. except he keeps telling me that he actually doesn’t care if we’re friends and he just doesnt want things to be weird at work (they never were to begin with)
but HE is the one who always reaches out first. and if i dont respond to something soon enough he’ll text again to keep the conversation going. and i dont know how any of it makes me feel. it makes me sad that talking to him seems so much harder than it used to be
it makes me angry that he blatantly ignored me telling him i didnt want hik to reach out anymore. granted, he waited over a year before he tried anything, but still. and it makes me feel like he’s being dishonest about how he feels.
if he genuinely didnt care if we were friends, why is he the one constantly reaching out and not wanting to wait for me to reach out first? we worked together just fine and actually had some fun at work even when we weren’t friends so just... why now.
if any of you actually read this ily. if not thats chill i just needed somewhere to vent
