I feel like modern society has grown dangerously complacent about quicksand

Oh wow looks like the quicksand lobby is at it again, unbelievable

AND YET

Evidence mounts

Hey looks like that journalism guy from Quora might be full of doody

So how do we deal with the quicksand threat? What do you do if the enemy has you in its clutches? Let’s take a look

1) Your bookbag, because you were on your way to school when it happened, will not help you and your physics homework will only distract you from the task at hand

2) Cha Cha Slide. Quicksand hates that

3) Next, take a nap, feel free to get comfortable

4) You guessed it, Chicken Dance time. Quicksand prefers techno to wedding party classics as we are learning

5) Do a Larry David impression to confuse the quicksand

6) Hopefully your billiard cue is still handy so you can engage the quicksand in a game of eight ball. When it loses it will be so embarrassed and let you go

7) If that doesn’t work build up your Power Meter to unleash a Special Attack on Quicksand. It is vulnerable to freezing attacks and but will summon a beholder every 7th turn so please space out your spells

We have now been armed with the most powerful weapon - knowledge. Go forth not in fear but secure in your recognition of this threat