cursed fic idea: bodyswap, but not between the people in the ship. no, I’m thinking McCree & Angela.

Angela, weeping at the person in the mirror: “I thought I’d never have to look at this ass again”

imagining this in the same universe where they got drunk that one time that they no longer talk about, for maximum awkward potential.

“of all the men this could have happened with, it REALLY had to be the one who helped me confirm I’m a lesbian?”

Angela: “I need you to bathe my body properly & give it back in the right condition, but also if you touch my boobs longer than is necessary to wash them, I swear to God, Jesse”

McCree, who stares at the ceiling every time he changes clothes: “oh, I have to bathe?”

really, nothing confirms how much you don’t wanna bang your very hot doctor friend like feeling nothing but embarrassment when instructed to touch her naked body.

Angela is aware McCree filled out since the last time she saw him naked, & she hates that she knows this. she is also shocked at the sheer quantity of people willing to flirt back when she says smth stupid she thinks he’d say. why is she the only person with taste?

the first time they meet up, McCree’s in the baggiest sweatshirt he could find

Angela: “what are you... do you not know how to put on a bra?”

McCree, in a humiliated hiss: “takin’ ‘em off and puttin’ one on are two different things”