This is a thread on what we believe, what we reject, and why it matters.

It's not a subtweet, but it is inspired by a few conversations that I see bouncing around.
It should come as no surprise that I'm interested in what people believe and why they believe it. All this relates to my primary curiosity: how what we believe manifests in our lives.
Growing up as a Seventh-day Adventist (White American Evangelical sect), I was taught that what we believe has eternal importance.
If you didn't have the right beliefs, then that wouldn't necessarily damn you to hell (we didn't believe in hell), but it WOULD make you more susceptible to falling away from the truth.
We placed a high degree of importance on the seventh-day Sabbath as being Saturday. The Catholics, we taught, deliberately changed the Sabbath from Saturday to Sunday in order to prove that they could change God's law. This was bad.
By worshiping on Sunday, other Christians were showing a pattern of elevation of self above God's wishes. And when you get used to doing that, we taught, it spread to other areas of your life. Best submit every part of your life to God's wishes instead of just some!
This kind of thinking, we concluded, allowed Satan a foothold in your mind, and made you more susceptible to being deceived. For the Bible teaches that even the elect will be deceived and led astray, and no one wants to be in that number!
As it turns out, I still believe this. Not about the Sabbath (though I miss it fiercely) or God's Law, but that small beliefs we hold tend to lead to larger beliefs and make us more susceptible to straying away from the path.
This belief and interest of mine shows up in several ways. For example, I still subscribe a sort of moral weight to the stories we choose to tell and absorb.
I think that they have power, and that responsible storytellers will share stories that explore reality in a responsible authentic way.
I also believe that the beliefs we hold form a system that can make it hard to be a good person. I unpack this more completely with Evangelicalism as my test case here: https://twitter.com/ErikMKort/status/1083130040617857025?s=20
Some systems are ones we're born into, like our race, economic status, gender identity, sexual identity, and religion.
Others are ones we choose and create for ourselves, such as our profession, our religion (after a certain point), our political beliefs (after a certain point), bigotry (again, after a certain point), and our philosophy.
I point out that some of the above have qualifiers because one can be born into a racist system and that's not your fault. You didn't ask to be born, nor did you choose those beliefs. They were just part of the air you breathe and that's not your fault.
It is, however, your responsibility to CHOOSE to recognize these bad belief systems and then actively fight and resist them. You must do this, or you will become a bad person.

Let's define our terms!
A Good Person is: a compassionate person that treats themself and those around them with kindness, and who enables and empowers others. They stand for equality, justice, and improve the world with their life.
A Bad Person is: a person who uses others as things and who is willing to put hatred, self, and power above the alleviation of suffering. They are complacent, advance and support abusive systems, and bend the world towards injustice with their lives.
These are not perfect definitions, and they need improvement and unpacking on a greater scale. However, I think they'll serve us for our discussion today.
Again, I also talked more completely about what Beliefs are and how they're formed in many threads, but here's a good starter: https://twitter.com/ErikMKort/status/1103686676549787648?s=20
This is a lot of throat clearing to say that we can sort Belief Systems into three vague categories: Helpful, Neutral, and Harmful.
Let's define our terms some more!

Helpful Belief Systems: These actively make it easier to hold accurate beliefs and be a good person.

Neutral Belief Systems: These are passive in the sense that they don't help nor do they harm your being a good or bad person.
Harmful Belief Systems: These actively make it more difficult to hold accurate beliefs and be a good person - you must work against the system to be a good person.
Relationships with people, by the way, can also be sorted into these categories. People, after all, help make up the systems that we live in. My household is a system that I've chosen - I picked who I live with carefully. That's a privilege.
The Neutral Belief Systems are the hardest to pin down.
In my current model of thinking, if you can say that "It's funny, believing X has really helped this person grow and flourish, but believing X has really made this other person struggle", then Belief X might be a neutral belief.
Let's take a quick step back so we can talk with more clarity and accuracy. I think that Beliefs can be judged on two criteria:

Is this Belief true/accurate?

Is this Belief Helpful, Neutral, or Harmful?
What do I mean by true/accurate?

I wrote a thread on this as part of the Christian Man Academy project on learning to believe in yourself that is applicable: https://twitter.com/ErikMKort/status/1100064364936085505?s=20
But in short, reality is what reality is. Reality doesn't care what you believe, nor will it change depending on what you believe. If I believe I can fly and jump off a chair, I'll not fail to hit the ground, no matter how hard I wish I would miss. Thus, Reality is Objective.
However, your PERSONAL reality is changing and flawed - it is Subjective. That is, what you believe can change how you interact with and experience the Objective reality.
If you believe the world is a gross awful place, your Confirmation Bias will make you notice more gross and awful things.
If you believe gross things about Y, you'll be an unsafe person and people won't feel safe telling you about their experiences, and thus, you'll live in a reality that validates your gross beliefs because you've created your own echo bubble.
Our beliefs form a system that helps us navigate the world around us. It's a map, and we can only interact with our map before the territory smacks us in the face.
As such, it's vital that we constantly update our beliefs and map, that way we can more accurately plan and experience reality.
That's what I mean by having a true or accurate belief. It's not a moral label, because I don't believe that it's a matter of morality. Morality, often, is an application of true beliefs.
We've already discussed our three categories (Helpful, Neutral, and Harmful) so I won't belabor that point, except to say that I don't believe there are True Harmful beliefs. That is to say, I don't ever think you have to choose between the Truth and being a Good Person.
That said, I also believe that if you ever THINK you have to choose, you ought to default to being a Good Person, and trust that your understanding of reality catches up in time to validate that decision. Because sometimes the world is a shitty place, and we have to fight it.
Now, we've talked a lot about what I think beliefs and belief systems are. It's time to turn our attention onto what kind of responsibility we have to judge these beliefs and belief systems.
I do believe that we do have a responsibility to judge - because we have a responsibility to fight injustice and oppose oppression and cruelty, and it's hard to do that if we can never recognize it when we see it.
However, judging other people's beliefs and feeling like we have the RIGHT and obligation to do so makes it very, very easy to be assholes. And the path of the asshole leads us into being Bad People. We don't want that.
Therefore, I think it's vital that we first turn our lens inward. We must work hard to recognize what privilege and power we personally hold, and what kind of systems of power we currently belong in and what rank we hold within them.
Once we identify these things, we then must work to oppose the harmful systems of power that we hold relatively high ranks within.
For example, I'm a cis-male. That's privilege that allows me a certain ease in my life. I also live within a society that elevates cis-people and suppresses and harms those who aren't cis.
Thus, it's my responsibility to push against the oppression of non-cis folk and work to educate other cis-folk on why this is important.
I also try to use my platform to amplify the voices of others who aren't cis that way it's their words and perspectives that get heard and I'm not the center in the conversation.
Another example! I'm white. That's a huge privilege. I live in a society that is racist and toxic in an extreme way. It is absolutely my responsibility to fight as best I can against this system, to use my power to dismantle it, and to amplify PoC's voices and perspectives.
A lot of this, again, has to do with listening. With letting other people speak about their experiences and believing them. By not speaking FOR other people, but by giving them the microphone and lending them the weight of your support and belief.
Because that's the next step, right? It's very, very hard to judge a belief system that is not your own. Unless it's comically apparent, it's going to be very hard to determine whether a belief system is Neutral or actually Harmful.
And this is where humility comes in. We cannot be sure of what we don't know, and we cannot decide things for others. Therefore, it's vital that we listen to and believe people when they talk about their experiences.

This cannot be done with ease nor complacency.
Otherwise, it's easy for me to listen to other dudes who tell me that they never experience sexism and that they always treat folk who aren't dudes with respect and kindness, and then conclude that the battle against sexism is over and that it's not a problem anymore.
Rather, I must work hard to discover and listen to ALL factors of the system, and believe people when they tell me that they're being harmed by other people's beliefs.
Remember: people are the experts of their own lives and experiences. They know better than us what they need, and what they feel. We ought to believe people when they talk about such things, and be very careful of not speaking over them.
I also need to realize that my relatively high position within the system (I'm a cis-man, remember) may make it less likely that people are willing to talk to me truthfully about their experiences.
Trust is something I must earn, and it's absolutely correct for them to protect themselves and stay safe.

Thus, we must be cautious when we're judging other people's belief systems, and we ought to focus the weight of our belief on the experiences and testimony of others.
What happens, then, when we're interacting with Beliefs that we consider to be False or Inaccurate, but the person holding them tells us that they're Helpful?
I see this conflict a lot whenever Christians and Atheists clash with each other. Often (not always), these are exclusive belief systems - only one of them can be true in a reality at a time, thus rendering the other to be inaccurate or untrue.
And, oftentimes, this becomes the whole focus of the debate.
I'll be honest - oftentimes, I'm much less interested in whether or not these Beliefs are true, and far more fascinated with how these beliefs manifest in people's lives and whether or not they're Helpful, Neutral, or Harmful.
Last year, I wrote over 350,000 words about how I find the White American Evangelical belief system to be Harmful and all the ways I think people within that system have to actively fight against it to be Good People.
However, Atheists (particularly white male atheists) are very frequently awful. I delve into why that might be here: https://twitter.com/ErikMKort/status/1108747686746832896?s=20
And here: https://twitter.com/ErikMKort/status/1109964347676086272?s=20
It is fair to say, then, that having True Beliefs doesn't automatically make you a Good Person.
Whatever your true beliefs are, they can be counteracted by other bad beliefs, or by embracing Power in an unhealthy way ( https://twitter.com/ErikMKort/status/1088183471359414272 and other threads), or by having a Harmful belief system.
This gets increasingly tricky because so many of these two groups once belonged to the other group at one point in their life. So, they have a unique experience within that system, and thus feel like they're commenting about one of their primary rings of experience.
After all, didn't I just say that we should believe people when they talk about their direct experiences, and that we ought to first look at our own experiences, beliefs, and systems? I did!
The problem is twofold: universalizing your experience and projecting it on others, and equating False with Harmful.
Let's look at the first with a neutral example: Opera vs Musicals.
I am an Erik who is very unmusical, yet I have a sincere adoration of many Musicals and the form. I almost automatically tear up whenever someone breaks into song about what they want or feel, especially if it's a good "I Want" song.
That said, I am also someone who has tried to enjoy opera and… I don't. Sorry, something about the unendingness of the music, or the "sameness" of it just doesn't work for me.
And these are fighting words for many, for they adore opera and can find Musicals to be a cheap knock-off of the real deal.
I actively resist going to the opera or watching it. Sorry, it's not for me! I've tried it, and it doesn't work.
I push back against people who tell me that I "ought" to love the opera, or that I "ought" to go to it for my own edification. I don't think that's true, or helpful, for me.
But, do I tell people that they should NOT go to the opera? Do I look down on those who do go to the opera? Not at all! Obviously, people love what they love, and different forms of art speak to others more loudly then some.
If you love going to the opera, then I'm thrilled that you've found something you love. Just don't pressure me into going with you.
Like I said, this is a neutral example. It's very rare to find someone who puts a moral weight on your beliefs about musicals or operas. And yet, the opportunity to be an asshole is still present, and there are plenty of people who take this opportunity to be shitty.
If you don't believe me, allow me to direct your attention to the Star Wars fandom, then step clear of that whole mess. (Again, I love Star Wars, can recognize that it's problematic, and also, I know that there's a whole toxic cesspool of fandom that ruins it for many people.)
It's worth using this neutral example, though, so we can ask a few questions. Do I believe that Opera is Enjoyable [for me]? No, I believe that's a false belief.
Will I push back against someone who believes that Opera is Enjoyable [for me]? Yes, because I believe that I have the ability to make that judgment for myself better than them.
Will I push back against someone who believes that Opera is Enjoyable [for them]? No, not at all - their experience is more relevant.
For me, the belief that Opera is Not Enjoyable is a true and helpful belief - it enables me to focus on things that are more likely to make my life enjoyable, and be more accurate in anticipating whether or not I'm going to like something.
But notice the difference that the above bracketed terms make: [for me] and [for them]. Those brackets are an example of subtext that often doesn't get said out loud, and can be easily misunderstood.
Oftentimes, debates and discussions will assume an understanding of these brackets, and mix them around freely.
For example, take this discussion:

"OMG, have you seen "Tobias Picker Emmeline"? It's probably the greatest thing ever, and I'll fight anyone who says differently!"

"What? No, ew. I hated it and don't think it's worth anyone's time. 0/10, would not see again."
Two different beliefs, two different experiences, and the bracketed terms are present but not even suggested in context. Being able to spot when someone is talking about something as it relates to them instead of a universal is vital to being able to be kind to others.
More so, it begs the questions: why are you rejecting a belief? Why are you categorizing it as True or False, or Helpful, Neutral, or Harmful?
It's these questions that I'd like to conclude by pondering, because they're most often what I want to talk about when I see the Christian vs Atheist clash. Both believe that the other viewpoint is False, and both often want to categorize the other as Harmful.
But, are you categorizing it as Harmful [for me] or Harmful [for everyone]? And WHY are you categorizing it as Harmful [for me] or Harmful [for everyone]?
Usually, people get these things all mixed around, and they're not clear, consistent, or precise about why they're rejecting a belief.
For example, take the atheist who says that "Christianity is unable to be redeemed because it's based on a false premise - there is no god."

I'm being generous because this atheist is being clear - they're rejecting this belief because they have labeled it as False.
However, they're also being inconsistent - "unable to be redeemed" suggests the Helpful/Neutral/Harmful category judgment, and that makes the mistake that a False Belief cannot be Helpful or Neutral.
And, perhaps they have a strong case to make about why they want to put the Belief System into the Harmful category, but they'll never make it; they'll be too busy talking about how it's False to ever get around to that.
Or, when confronted with that claim, a Christian may say, "My practice of Christianity is different; it's made me a more loving and caring person, and I find peace and joy in my faith."
It goes without saying that they believe their faith to be True, but they're offering an explanation of why their beliefs are also Helpful. They are, then, talking about two different categories of judgment while leaving a lot to bracketed subtext that's unsaid.
This gets more difficult and fraught when we start mixing layers of experience. I can easily get into trouble when I say, "I oppose atheism because it's based on sexist premises that presume a hierarchy of genders."
I, as a cis-male, am now claiming to speak for people who aren't cis-men (never mind the problematic urge to assume that my cis-male experience is universal for all cis-men!) and risk being wrong.
What should I do, then? In this case, I ought to listen to women, non-binary, and non-cis folk when they talk about their experience with atheist. I ought to listen to experts who study such things and use their knowledge as a way to form better beliefs.
And, when I talk about such things, I ought to quote or share sources from these folks instead of claiming their knowledge and experience as my own.
And, finally, I go back to what I said very early on - when in doubt between being a Good Person (kind) or being Right (holding a True belief), always choose to be kind. We learn a lot more by listening than we do by speaking.
This also means that we all ought to practice respecting people even when we think they're wrong. It's okay if they are - I'm wrong about a lot of things, and I hope that people will respect and be kind to me when I'm wrong.
Part of practicing kindness, I think, is recognizing the difference between pushing against Harmful Belief Systems and pushing back against people within those Belief Systems. Particularly those who don't hold a lot of power within those systems.
That's a whole different thread, and I'm probably not the best person to write it yet, cause I'm still learning about it. But it's the thought I want to leave y'all with, as well as this: choose kindness; we're all in this together.
You can follow @ErikMKort.
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