Men don't know what being "emotional" actually means.

They confuse having emotions with expressing emotions. And then they confuse expressing emotions with being consumed and compelled by emotions against one's "better" judgment.

Women are more skilled at expressing emotions, surely socialized to be better. Men, however, are terrible at expressing emotions because they fear being consumed by their emotions.

That fear of being consumed by emotions causes men to repress their emotions. That repression actually causes them to act out of their emotions, the very thing women are often accused of doing.

Fascinating.

It seems like it comes down to emotional self regulation and how men don't know the difference between that and controlling emotions. The former is absolutely requires you to feel your feelings. The latter is about avoiding feeling feelings.

But that which you repress flourishes in the wild, refusing to be controlled. Those feelings you refuse or fear feeling come out anyway, they steal your agency. They control you, your responses, and your thoughts.

In my experience, whenever I can't get right, can't get my life right, can't get past something it's because there is a feeling/feelings that I haven't acknowledged, accepted, and integrated.

And let me add that men are absolutely conditioned to be this way. But that's why we must Decolonize the Survival Instinct. We are conditioned to be in communities that we don't determine. But as adults we must change the processes and goals of being initiated into adulthood.

This thread triggered some men.
Seek help. It's there for you.
You can even pay me and I will hold your hand through your healing.