Yes, there’s lots of serious discussion about the #Grant doc today. But that’s not why you come here. No, you come here for a painstaking, Zapruder-like breakdown of the film’s most pivotal moment, it’s emotional core ...

I’m referring, of course, to the “Halleck eats” scene.

My pulse started quickening as Grant went down this hallway, cuz there’s only one place THAT leads: to Halleck. I can’t remember the last time I was this excited for a scene in a movie -- maybe the boat going down in “Titanic,” cuz that would mean it was over soon. (Sorry, Leo.)

The takeaway here is that Halleck liked to live the good life rather than be an effective general -- although, if the filmmakers were gonna be sticklers for historical accuracy, they would’ve shown him face-down in a book about Napoleon, snoring and cradling an empty opium jug.

Still, there is that great quote about Halleck from the Pennsylvania delegation who met him in 1862: “His silly talk was inconclusive as to his capacity, unless he was a little flustered with wine, an inadmissible apology for a commander-in-chief at a crisis like this.” #OhHenry

Was I disappointed the filmmakers didn’t have Halleck scratch his elbows, as he did in life? A LITTLE. But then, as I fast-forwarded and rewound, paused and replayed the scene, I caught it: a TINY ITCH ON HIS LEFT ELBOW (visible here) as Grant outlines his plans.

I swooned.

Cuz, sure, maybe the maps weren’t exactly correct, and I know I’D like to hear from a non-male historian about a battle sometime, but give producer Leo DiCaprio & the History Channel credit: They did Halleck’s elbow-scratching in a subtle way. So they got the big things right.

Also: Is this the first scene featuring Henry Halleck in a TV show or movie, like … ever? (Yes, THIS is what keeps me tossing and turning at night. Well, this and the unspeakable horror that is 2020.) I racked my brain, but I admit I haven’t done any more research than that ...

I’m pretty sure Halleck is in the background in “Lincoln,” but (hilariously) not named. There’s no Halleck in “North and South,” right? And he’s not a character in “How the West Was Won” or “Union Pacific,” other likely contenders ... Fellow film nerds, can you think of anything?

So, as the guy who throws an annual party for Henry Halleck at his statue in Golden Gate Park, where the public response has been VASTLY AND WILDLY UNDERWHELMING, I’d like to say: Thank you, Leo DiCpario, for making Henry Halleck a household name again.

I’ll take it from here.