✎ 𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐡𝐲𝐮𝐤 ←
[PSA: this will be a thread about how much minhyuk has helped me. i want to note that i love all 7 equally, but minhyuk has helped in ways nobody else has been able to. please note that this thread may contain triggering content but i will tw it]

dear minhyuk,
in 2015 when i moved away from my mother and my sisters to live in the big city, i had you right there with me. i moved in with my step father despite everything that happened and continued to happen. i was always scared and lonely, i felt so vulnerable and afraid.

tw// mentions of SA
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considering i was alone in my knowledge that my step father had assaulted me since the age of 11, moving in with him, i knew would be a disaster. but nobody wanted to listen to me about the torture he put me through. nobody except you.

tw// mentions of SA
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2015 was so fucking awful. i was alone, i was scared, i was living with the man who abused me and forced his way into my room at night. i might have been 21, but every time he appeared, it was like i was 12 again and this was the first time. i was petrified.

towards the end of 2015, i moved back in with my family. i refused to ever talk to or about my step father. he was dead to me as far as i was concerned. i became more and more immersed into monsta x’s music, and you were ALWAYS there to make sure i had a shoulder to cry on.

when i got back, mum and i tried working things out but nothing prevailed. she was refusing to listen to me, i refused to see that she was just as much a victim of my step dad as i was, and nothing gelled. we argued all the time, and i even slept outside sometimes.

tw// alcoholism + drug abuse + mentions of predators
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i fell into a group of friends that were absolutely awful. they hung around with criminals (some murderers, child predators) and i had no idea about this until after i stopped hanging around them. they had me convinced+

tw/ alcoholism + drug abuse + mentions of predators
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that they were fine. they used my kindness and my mental illness against me, began pushing their morals and beliefs onto me, and i felt uncomfortable but i was too weak to leave. they threatened me, hurt me, and made me+

tw// addiction
+ swear that i wouldn’t leave. i knew that they were going to hurt people before it happened. sometimes the attacks were nearly fatal. i was so alone, weak, and now had addictions to deal with. my relationship with mum was non existent, i didn’t talk to my sisters+

i was living away from home, and nothing felt right anymore. until one day, my friend decided to make out that i was a selfish bitch and decided she wanted everyone to turn against me, and THAT WAS SOOO FINE with me! i finally had a way to escape, and something i could take to+

tw/ mentions of death
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the police in case they tried coming for me. but, they didn’t. then - my abusive step dad died. my family was distraught but i was ecstatic. i felt nothing but freedom and happiness. i watched monsta x content day in, day out, and threw myself +

into becoming a monbebe. my room became filled with albums, merch, and other goods. i listened to their music and watched their content regularly. minhyuk always was that particular member that could make me smile even if i didn’t want to. he just has that way about him...

i thought, hey! maybe life isn’t so bad after all! my family was growing closer, we talked about my childhood trauma and began seeking help for my conditions, both physical and mental, and i rediscovered my love for the land...i was deep in the monbebe life, and then...

tw// mentions of SA
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my friend invited me out to a party, and i hadn’t seen him in a long while, so i went. i got drunk incredibly fast though, and i ended up leaving at 5am. mum picked me up but it wasn’t until the next day i noticed the blood and pain. i also noticed+

tw// mentions of SA
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i panicked and quickly told my family. the police took me in for questioning and i had to have a kit done to make sure i wasn’t pregnant. the attacker had left severe internal damage and hand marks around my neck. he had tried killing me. i was distraught.

tw// mentions of SA
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the police repeatedly told me that i had asked for it by kissing him, even though he had drugged me AND my friend so they wouldn’t be able to help me. it turns out, he had taken photos of me in his bed. i was sitting in the hospital bed crying when+

tw// mentions of SA
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a picture that my attacker had sent to me as some cruel form of added punishment appeared on my phone. i burst into tears all over again and swiped onto pinterest. minhyuk’s photos were everywhere on my home page. and somehow...i felt safe. i felt okay.

even if it was only for a split second, everything felt normal again. listening to monsta x and staring at pictures of the men who had helped me through so much made me realise that i was alive. even if i nearly lost my life, i was still here. and even if i felt awful, i still +

felt something. and at that time, something was better than nothing. for the next two years, i went through stages of hating myself and my body, but i also lived through monsta x’s first win. i lived through seeing minhyuk become an MC, i lived to make so many wonderful friends.

i became stronger. i owned the pain my step father and attacker gave me. i took everything back that they stole from me. it has taken me 4-5 years to even be remotely okay again, but thanks to monsta x, and thanks to minhyuk, i have started the healing process.

it sounds corny and cheesy to say that i owe my life to him, but i do. he’s magical, he’s wonderful, he’s the one person that i could always count on who wasn’t a family member or close friend. he is everything to me. i can’t say how much i adore lee minhyuk, because +

there is not enough words in the dictionary to describe how much all 7 mean to me. but, minhyuk will always have that special place in my heart. i will support him in all his endeavours, and i sincerely hope he finds someone who makes him as happy as he’s made me.

i love you, lee minhyuk. you will always be the stars in my eyes and the clouds in my skies. i wish you so much love, joy and happiness in the world. i will always be here for you.

- love,
wari

- end of letter -