Read on Twitter
Not an idiot you say? Hmm
Spent a year pretending to be Juan somebody or other trying to avoid me on Twitter. Spoiler, it didn& #39;t work. Spent 2 weeks in our loft dressed as friggin Rambo fighting a family of squirrels. Shall I go on? https://twitter.com/scottylar/status/1265177791701692419">https://twitter.com/scottylar...
Spent a year pretending to be Juan somebody or other trying to avoid me on Twitter. Spoiler, it didn& #39;t work. Spent 2 weeks in our loft dressed as friggin Rambo fighting a family of squirrels. Shall I go on? https://twitter.com/scottylar/status/1265177791701692419">https://twitter.com/scottylar...
Almost severed your thumb opening a tin of corned beef. You know our neighbour who you& #39;ve repeatedly called Claire for the past 3 years? Well her names Sarah and she& #39;s too polite to correct you. Do you not recall the underscore incident either? It& #39;s a good job I love you 
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You OK babes? I just heard you yell What the f*** from upstairs
