genie: i shall grant you three wishes

me: i wish my dog could talk

genie: done

me: [petting my dog] hey buddy you& #39;ve got two wishes
dog: i wish you never had to go to work

me: shit i& #39;d have wished that too
dog: i wish i was outside

genie: done

dog: i wish i was back inside

genie: you& #39;re out of wishes

me: [opening door] i got you buddy
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