i’m drunk so i’m gonna read the cream cheese fic again

Calling it the cream cheese fic really doesn’t appreciate the vast variety of food substances crowley is stuffed with at some point. Incredibly simplistic after all the hard work the author put in

What I think is so funny about it is that at first it seems like a fairly normal AU fic, Aziraphale is lonely and he gives small Crowley some food and you think aw this is quite cute actually. And then Aziraphale is like ‘take your shirt off https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🤑" title="Money-mouth face" aria-label="Emoji: Money-mouth face">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🤤" title="Drooling face" aria-label="Emoji: Drooling face">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="👅" title="Tongue" aria-label="Emoji: Tongue">’

How does Crowley find tiny clothes and sunglasses? Do demons have tiny shopping malls

okay another kind of hysterical thing is that aziraphale, if he so desired, could easily rip off crowley’s tiny dick without ANY trouble

WE GOT TO RAVIOLO SJSKFKFKF IM SPEECHLESS. IT HITS ME LIKE A GODDAMN BRICK EVERY TIME

How has Aziraphale not Fallen for this?? Has God just stopped caring in this universe or does she endorse his weird demon vore activities? Did God see what he was doing and decide she’d had enough? I need answers

Oh no I forgot about the honey bit