Read on Twitter
Gender is really hard.
Like...I have lived 44 years of my life as a women. It feels dishonest to call myself one, but it also feels dishonest to not, because socially my body is still gendered that way. The language isn& #39;t there to describe things. https://twitter.com/RileyGryc/status/1265061043409051649">https://twitter.com/RileyGryc...
Like...I have lived 44 years of my life as a women. It feels dishonest to call myself one, but it also feels dishonest to not, because socially my body is still gendered that way. The language isn& #39;t there to describe things. https://twitter.com/RileyGryc/status/1265061043409051649">https://twitter.com/RileyGryc...
And there& #39;s this narrative out there that once you come out as trans, you were never your assigned gender at birth, and that also feels wrong. Because see above - I have lived 44 years as a woman. That will always be my history, whatever transition I pursue.
Looking back some things make a little more sense, like the part where depression set in at puberty when my secondary sex characteristics started developing.
It took me 44 years to realize that I was dysphoric, and that was because the dysphoria centered around my chest got much, much worse.
But I& #39;ve been doing a lot of reading lately and don& #39;t really resonate with any of the trans narratives I& #39;ve found. And I haven& #39;t found the language for this liminal place in which I find myself in middle age after a lifetime of...just not caring a lot.
I refuse, however, to adopt the narrative that I have never been a woman when for four and a half decades I have suffered the social slings and arrows of being embodied as one and performing femininity poorly.
Ultimately I guess I feel about my gender like I do about my disability - it is simultaneously one of the least interesting things about me which has caused me the most trouble because of socially constructed consequences.
