The astro-turfer’s guide to defending Dominic Cummings, a thread. #DominicStays
[Astro-turfing – creating fake grassroots support]

First off, you must discredit any argument against Cummings, no matter how logical and reasonable, as one gigantic leftie slur. Tell pple they’re anti facts. Don’t engage with any facts yourself, just keep saying anything they say is a lie.

Emphasise that Cummings was doing what was right and within guidelines. This was an emergency situation in which childcare was required and the guidelines state that it’s fine to travel under those circumstances (or if they don’t, they soon will).

Make sure you say any critics would have been fine with this if someone in Labour had done it, it’s only because it’s a Tory doing it that they’re angry. It’s double standards, they’re just saying stuff because they don’t like Tories.

Keep repeating that you voted against Brexit and are a lifetime Labour supporter but that even you are disgusted at the treatment DC is receiving.

On 2nd thoughts, maybe ease up on this, I think pple are starting to get a little suspicious. Vary it with ‘I work for the NHS and I’m not worried by this.’ We need to ensure it looks like the NHS supports us rather than that we flagrantly disregard it by our actions.

It’s imperative that you make perfectly reasonable questions seem unreasonable. As frequently as possible refer to the opposition as: Witch hunters, pitchfork waving, hysterical, hyperbolic, hate-filled, crying, emotional etc etc.

Basically if you’ve used the word to discredit a woman’s argument before, keep using it now. It’s vital that the left is seen as soft, lacking leadership and irrational, no matter how much, and in fact particularly if, it presents to the contrary.

Make sure you flag up any indiscretion on the part of anyone else. Press photographers are great for this. Who cares if DC drove 260 miles with Covid symptoms when you can point out that photographers aren’t social distancing.

Try to make DC seem like one of us by emphasising that ‘we’ve all been breaking the rules a bit, haven’t we?’ as if arguing that chocolate is essential shopping is equivalent to packing up your Covid-riddled family and driving the length of the country.

Whilst we’re on this, it’s imperative that you treat the plebs with respect. Try to avoid terms like ‘plebs’. DC is just an ordinary guy doing his best, just like them. Your aim is to make the good guys into the bad guys and make DC into a good guy.

Criticise the press repeatedly for their ‘obsession’. Mention that he had death threats against him. Do not mention that any senior civil servant will have access to the best specialist teams to ensure their safety.

Shoe horn in as many references to the Chinese as you can. It’s probably all their fault for making fridges and cheap T-shirts whilst chowing down on raw monkey and playing with bats. Play on people’s xenophobia and racism. We’ve spent decades priming them for this.

Whilst being as rude abt the Chinese as you like, periodically remind pple to #BeKind. Mention Caroline Flack, as if DC is a troubled starlet and favourite of the people.

If you can liken the press invasion DC is experiencing to what happened with Diana, so much the better. Readers of the Daily Express will love this.

Won’t somebody think of the children? Or child. He might have autism. His parents had to dial 999 for him, bless the sweet child, even as he administered Ribena to his sick father, who wasn’t that sick and who isolated, whilst driving, to check his eyesight.

Sorry, mask slipped a bit there. Make sure you don’t do that.

Emphasise that the best childcare available to DC was in Durham not in London. Everyone knows how hard it is to get good childcare. DC was doing his instinctive best as a good father. Oh look, a bird.

Blame the media, for everything. It’s their fault for reporting this, not DC’s fault for doing it. Ignore the slide into totalitarianism, that’s actually the direction we’re aiming for and if you can prime people for it now, so much the better.

Repeat that it’s no big deal. Keep using words such as ‘minor indiscretion’. Remember DARVO. Deny, attack, reverse victim & offender. DC is the victim who made a small error but acted with the best intentions and who is now under attack. That attack is worse than anything DC did.

Ease up on the mention of funerals, that one’s not working for some reason.

Remember, emphasise how calm, rational, logical and law-abiding all DC’s actions were. All very minor, nothing to see here, just doing what anyone else wd do.

Emphasise how irrational, nasty, hate-filled and hysterical the opposition is. Link any criticism to a lack of rationality even in the teeth of all the evidence. We’ve primed pple to be suspicious of facts and evidence, so it’s all systems go folks.