[NOT AC, sexuality vent thread]

me but i’m overthinking a tiktok i saw several weeks ago pointing out how many wlw face compulsive heterosexuality and feel like they are “expected” to be attracted to men but only find unobtainable men to be up to their standards https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😳" title="Flushed face" aria-label="Emoji: Flushed face">

the post called me out so badly because i have only ever crushed on male anime/game characters and like. youtubers in their 30s. (which reflecting on it, was not healthy as a minor.)

also? i would crave attention from boys but feel physical fear to progress a relationship

meanwhile, my basis for women/nb attraction has been with the people around me socially (online/in person), rooted in safe intimacy rather than “fictional ideas”

and i’m lowkey having a sexuality identity crisis bc of this.

i know bisexuality doesnt have to be 50/50 and preferences are allowed but like...

i am sort of afraid to not (?) be bisexual? like what if this is internalized biphobia or what if i accidentally do smth disrespectful to the lesbian community by “re-attracting” to men...

i dont want to endanger the lesbian community or like make them feel uncomfortable :(... its just more like i feel the need to “prove” lesbianism first before i “switch labels” you know?

its like... fictional characters have well written personalities that appeal to me? i find them charming!! then its like... also they just so happen to be men! (am i pan?)

...not sure how to rationally explain the thirst for 2d boys though :/ art is just spicy i guess

idk. i’m having a really hard time with who i am lately... it’s making it hard to interact with others because i am jealous of their proud lgbt+ identities... i feel so weak standing beside them :(

(terfs DNI with this thread.)