How to be in Control in your relationship without being Controlling

Long post Alert: But if you wish to know how to always be in control in your relationships with women--- it will be worth the read.

I’m a firm believer that a man should be the leader in relationships. He should be one to call most of the shots in a relationship, and navigate the relationship to the right direction in the momentum he wishes. I believe a man should be in control.

SUPPLICATING MEN

Nowadays, when I look around the society, I see a lot of men who have given up control in their relationships. Although, most of them didn’t relinquish this power intentionally.

Most times, it’s a result of following mainstream dating advice— which usually gives men the notion that the way to keep a woman is to treat her like a goddess or like a fragile egg.

Hence, when most men enter a relationship, especially with a girl they love, they supplicate and start doing almost everything the lady asks of them. As this goes on, the lady starts gaining more power and soon she becomes in control of the relationship.

CONTROLLING MEN

There is another group of men. They don’t actually supplicate to women— as a matter of fact they COMMAND ladies on what to do and what not to do in the relationship. These guys are not actually in control of their relationships, but they’re controlling.

This is bad also because it leaves girls with this bitter feeling. That feeling of being caged; not being free. When you’re controlling to your girlfriend, she’ll start seeing you as a controlling parent figure.

And when this happens, she builds up her wall and starts hiding things from you, and begin doing things behind your back— naughty things.
In other words, she starts rebelling you.

Trust me, you don’t want your girlfriend to become rebellious towards you.

So what’s the right way to do it? Strike a balance!

BE IN CONTROL BUT DON’T BE CONTROLLING

I know the question on your mind is, “How can I be in control of my relationship, without being controlling?”

I’ll definitely answer that question soon, but first I’ve to tell you a very vital thing about women, which is:

“Women Continually Test The Men in Their Lives.”

From the time you meet a lady she will start testing you.

Even when you enter a relationship with her, or get married to her, or celebrate your 25 years anniversary in marriage. She will continue to test you. Although, the longer you stay together, the lesser the tests you face.

WHY WOMEN TEST MEN

If you are a regular reader here, you should already know by now that women are attracted to dominant and strong men. When I say ‘strong,’ I don’t only mean physical strength—

I’m also referring to mental/emotional strength (which is most important to ladies), and financial strength.

Now the main reason women test men is to know how strong you are as a man (that is, when they’re still getting to know you) or to know if you’re still

that strong man they fell in love with (that is, when you’re already in a relationship with them).

In other words, women test you to know if you are truly that strong confident man you’re portraying to be or if you are still that strong confident men she fell for.

It is interesting to note that women will only start to test you if they consider you as a potential mate. Hence, if a woman is testing you, it means she likes you, but she’s still not completely convinced about you.

Although, a woman will not test you if she adores you completely. In that case, she thinks you are already perfect, so there’s no need to test you.

For example, if a girl idolizes Wizkid, she won’t test Wizkid if eventually he makes advances at her.

And the more experienced a lady is, the stronger and more precise her test becomes.

When you pass these tests, their attraction for you increases, but if you fail, it decreases. And if you keep failing it, there’ll be a time they will fall completely out of love with you, and

then start pushing for a break up, or cheat on you.

WAYS WOMEN TEST MEN IN A RELATIONSHIP

There are several ways women test men, that if I try to list all of them, I might end up writing a full book about that. But I’ll give you certain examples of how women test their men in

relationships. And maybe in a later post I’ll give examples of tests women give men they’re not yet in a relationship with— but they’re still considering as mates.

Example of Some tests women throw at their men:

1. My course mate (male) invited me for his birthday (all night), I would love to go. All my friends are going. What do you think about that?

2. My ex wants to meet up. It has been quite long though, so let me just see him. I hope you don’t mind?

3. I need some break from this relationship. I think we should spend some time apart from each other.

4. You two are walking along the street, and suddenly she asks you to carry her handbag for her. When you see absolutely no need to.

KNOW WHAT YOU WANT

The first way to deal with tests in a relationship is by knowing exactly what you want in a relationship.

Do you want a more of an open relationship… where you two are free to spend time with each opposite sex? Do you want to a girlfriend who goes to parties by herself or with other female friends? Are you okay with carrying a girl’s handbag in public?

Just know exactly what you want in your relationships, then when she tests you via one of them. You stand on what you want. However, there’s a way to do that, so that she won’t see at as controlling.

HOW TO BE IN CONTROL WITHOUT BEING SEEN AS CONTROLLING

Let’s look at the first test above:

“My course mate (male) invited me for his birthday (all night), I would love to go. All my friends are going. What do you think about that?”

What would you do if you don’t welcome the idea of your girlfriend going for a male course mate’s all night party just with her friends? And since it’s a male course mate, the population of males would be more in the party. Truth be told, it’s a bad idea.