Idk why, but that a*y C**per video got me really fucked up rn. Like really fucked up. I think it was the last straw, after Ahmaud Arbery and breonna taylor and coming across the b**g*l** and learning more abt. settler colonialism and knowing that ecosystems are STILL collapsing

All the while, yt amerikkka gives absolutely NO FUCKS for black, brown, and Indigenous lives bc that fucking video CLEARLY SHOWS that yt people just want nothing more than to murder people who don't look like them :')

And Jesus fucking Christ don't even get me started on the tr*mpies. Jesus CHRIST the tr*mpies. I saw a tiktok earlier with a yt teen proudly flaunting her tr*mpiness, climate denial and all, & it made me so fucking uncomfy to know that the new gen. of yt amerikka is here

Meanwhile, I'm over here trying to untangle my fucking existence as a Filipino(colonized people)-Amerikkkan(the pinnacle of settler colonizers), lying in bed feeling bad about myself,

But at the end of the day that doesn't change the fact that I'm not a black person at risk of being murdered in my own home, or an Indigenous person who's identity has been destroyed and erased thanks to the occupation of their land (which IS their identify)

All of that to say that I'm trying to unpack my own immense fucking privilege as an Asian person living on the stolen land that is the United States, but that isn't easy when you have ytness shoved down ur throat everyday!!!!!!

And idk man obvi I'm feeling a lot of things like A LOT a lot of things and obvi nOt AlL yT pEoPlE and I don't have a tidy conclusion to this thread/rant/journal entry so I'm just gonna end it with this