1: work work work, two seemingly beloved jobs, 60+ hours a week, work fucking work, no time for overthinking no time for anxiety no time for grief no time for loneliness no time for fear

2: global pandemic, can no longer work work work, what will i do, unemployment insurance pays the bills but WHAT WILL I DO to distract myself from the overthinking, the anxiety, the grief, the loneliness, the fear

3: stir crazy and scared, replacing work with searching for work one can do from home, work that helps, keeps people safe, “contributes to society”, searching for anything to fill the void of distraction, childhood hacks like books and movies and backyards not doing the trick

4: okay, tired after too much sleep (when could you last get this much sleep?) but coffee in a real mug with no rush to the train, humid morning after a coastal storm, uncomfortable, up all night, but sunrise is warm, that in and of itself is comforting, distracting, inspiring

5: garden, kitchen, sea, library, repeat

6: that pandemic? it takes one of your own. garden, family, kitchen, family, sea, family, library, family, repeat

7: what the fuck do you mean, go back to work? what the fuck do you mean, “reopening”? what the fuck do you mean, economy, capital, commerce, constitution? what the fuck do you mean? what the fuck? we are dying before we are supposed to, before we had time to make it better

8: garden, family, community, kitchen, family, community, sea, family, community, library, family, community, repeat

9: back to work but it never looks the same, back to work but it contributes to agriculture or science or education or art, back to work but it supports your family and your community and your health and your life