Please send me these ASAP!!! FYI, I’ve decided that it isn’t a website, but an app & it would be called, “Dander”, like Tinder, but for pets, by pets. no humans allowed. Now what would their profile pics look like?!?!

Raleigh needs you to understand she is only on “Dander” because her friends “thought it would be good for her”. She really don’t even like dogs for real & isn’t keen on being bothered. she WILL bark at you & won’t respond to your DMs—unless you throw her a ball.

Kanoa wants y’all to know that he is DISTINGUISHED okay?! Check his resumé before you check for him. He knows how to high five, but only when he wants to. Fiercely loyal, he wants NO NEW FRIENDS, unless you sharing your chicken. Only on “Dander” in solidarity w/ Raleigh.

Izzy F. Baby (plz say the baby) is grown and he knows it. He knows what he wants & doesn’t have time for “games”. Although he presents like he has his shit together, he will be the 1st one to go in your bag when you ain’t lookin’. He is a SURVIVOR & aint lookin’ for no weak joint