I. Was. Fucking. Canceled.

I lost work.

Friends.

I DO think about the long-term effects. Believe me. They suck.

I'm still suffering. So when you're all, "Wait we need to do restorative action," I can't help but wonder why it's always the perpetrator who gets "restored."

And this wasn't even like six years ago. Last year. Last year, I made a stupid choice to try to take a job that I thought was a way to "get back in," to put all this shit behind me. I got my hopes up.

Then this shit bit me in the ass. Left me hurt again. Because this same shit.

Maybe he deserves restoration. Maybe he deserves redemption. Maybe I'm selfish for thinking that maybe the victims in the story deserve to be redeemed before he does, because I'm one of them.

I still see what they say about me.