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Since it’s that time of the year where we get again relitigate the sex wars and the ahistorical “lesbians can’t be bisexual” a little story about centering men in het-normative, bisexual space and why this bisexual choose lesbianism
#SapphoWasBisexual #BisexualLesbians 1/n
#SapphoWasBisexual #BisexualLesbians 1/n
I was a a kinky(ish) sex party (not a sexual kink party) and a group of four friends, two men (at least one was bi), two women (bi) came out of a bedroom saying “we wanted to but the men couldn’t get it up”. Honestly I could stop there and most of you would get the rest. 2/n
Tbf Molly was in attendance and if you’ve done many drug fueled Bay Area orgies (nobody wants to call them that, but come on; our garden parties are more Roman than Parisian) you know that even with the pharmaceutical blessing Priapus this isn’t an uncommon problem 3/n
So, in ~ the Year of Out Lady 2018, in the Bay Area, in this “most decadent” environs, sex (with at most one straight man present) didn’t happen because the blessed male members couldn’t get hard enough. 4/n
I have to imagine a lot of oral sex happened all around. But everyone left disappointed. Even if PIV were the only way men could receive pleasure the women should not have left that room dissatisfied and “sec not having happened”. A man’s penis going into a woman’s vagina 5/n
does not define sex and so many problems in the world come from thinking it does. This would have never occurred to me as a show stopped even before I transitioned (yet another “pre-transition” does not equal “pre-trans”). In the broader queer, not-male spaces this would have 6/n
been outright a homophobic affront calling most all of our sex as “not real sex” and it apparently didn’t even occur to *two bi women* that that was the case. It’s really hard to avoid the deleterious effects of the male gaze being present, even in bi friendly spaces. 7/n
And the goal oriented thinking of only one type of sex being valid *apparently ruined what could have been a wonderful time* for four people. 8/n
So I’m technically bisexual but in practice and by identity lesbian. I prefer my sex to be without cis men present (how and if trans men are an exception is a fight I don’t feel up for in this thread. Yes you are real men. Yes sometimes this means you; sometimes it doesn’t) 9/n
Oh and I more meant “majority of my social life” when I said sex. I do just fine in pretty exclusively lesbian space, but that doesn’t mean I’m. It bi. 10/10
Fin
#BisexualLesbians #SapphoWasBi
Fin
#BisexualLesbians #SapphoWasBi
