A sense of belonging is an important part of being human, but we tend to downplay just how much it is.

People do a lot of challenging things, things thoroughly outside of who they are, things some will likely regret, just to feel like they belong to a group they want to be in.

It takes work to build that sense within yourself, to value your own approval the most.

But even when you have, life will still present moments when your desire to belong somewhere that could possibly elevate you, causes you to question bending rules you have set for yourself.

There will be moments where you will reach places that you hoped and worked hard to get to, and still be floored by how out of place you feel.
We call that feeling in those spaces, the imposter syndrome.

I am now realizing that it is part of life to often feel out of step.

You will be surprised how many people who seem to have to all together, struggle with feeling isolated & out of step.
When you choose to be authentic in who you are, the challenge will be in how difficult it is to find people who relate to you.
Who help you feel more like you.

On the road to finding them, I can tell you that being less of you to fit in will deter you from loving yourself more.
It will introduce you to even more self doubt.
Being yourself will become almost too much of a challenge, almost like a dream to imagine ever being.

And the worst bit is, you get no closer to who and where you want to be.
You build a wall between it.

The work for me is learning to build a sense of belonging in often being out step.
In taking comfort in the knowledge that it’s proof I am trying to be myself.

That way, if I ever am faced with a strong desire to belong, I am not swayed to react impulsively to fit in.

I will make decisions that accommodate who I am and trust that in the long run, I am looking out for myself...no matter how “rewarding” the benefits are short term.