This is a thread I have been hesitant to post b/c of potential backlash, the way I witness cancel culture on here, the way it could be wielded to hurt others, the way it could be utilized to reinforce harmful stereotypes.

But this is my story to tell.
1/13

I made the intentional choice to come out over a decade ago. Some could say it was when I was 6 at the dinner table and in stating what I wanted to be when I grew up, I quickly quipped that I wanted to marry a powerful woman as well.
2/13

Growing up was not easy, I had a messy framework for sexuality based off of our societal norms. I was dragged to hell and back by the Church. Some of you know what happened between my family and the communities I was raised within, some of you do not.
3/13

I was presented the framework of heterosexuality and upon noting my interest in women, the response I received was not "are you gay?" but "oh you must be questioning or bisexual."

The implication of a heteronormative society is that I must be inherently attracted to men.
4/13

But I'm not and I tried for 25yrs; I just thought I was broken b/c I felt dead inside and b/c my multiple attempts at conversion therapy couldn't fix me.

I have held a label for over a decade b/c I was never given the room to question the framework + if it was necessary.
5/13

I didn't even know you could question the framework and this is coming from someone whose sociological research is rooted in WGS.

The label I have held is inaccurate due to not having all the information I needed to know in order to see it was not actually true for me.
6/13

Quarantine has been painful for a myriad of reasons, primarily b/c I was confronting a reality I have been avoiding my entire life. I was asking questions and dissecting the framework, memories, and experiences over the last 25yrs.
7/13

Language is limited, esp as a non-binary human. The reality is that I'm queer, some may utilize the term "gay".

I realize in stating this that I will lose people, I will upset + hurt people, that my story could be used to reinforce harmful stereotypes. For that, I am sorry
8/13

Some have known, some believed I already knew this, some have borne witness to the pain + desecration of my life as I have continued to choose honesty, time + again.

But this is my story, this is my truth.
9/13

The reality is that if/when I ever get married, it will look radically different than what others had planned for me. Individuals whom I had originally dreamt of having present + integral to that day will not be.

Let me be clear, I am not disappointed.
10/13

I am not disappointed in myself b/c ever since I was a tiny human, I have dreamt of marrying a woman.

I am not disappointed b/c their dreams were not my dreams. I am disappointed in those who could not understand the beauty of a love that can exist in a multitude of ways.
11/13

Here's the tea. If/when that day comes, there will be people missing but everyone who I would genuinely desire to be there will be present.

It will be queer and magical and beautiful. (also i'm single)
12/13

All this to say... I am still here + I am most definitely queer... and I am grateful to be

I realize in admitting this that I will lose some of you on here + others that exist in my life offline. I just ask that you don't use my story for harm or to reinforce stereotypes
13/13