as a sapphic who’s currently undecided on labels: it’s okay to not label yourself if you don’t know if you’re bi/pan or lesbian. it’s okay to wait and figure it out later, or never. what’s not okay is to use an invalidating and harmful label that is by definition impossible.

i just Know that if i was younger and less educated i might fall into the trap of calling myself a bi lesbian. literally once considered calling myself homosexual biromantic. also, somehow, bisexual homoromantic. is that comphet? internalized biphobia? who tf knows

but the entire concept of bi/pan lesbians manages to invalidate bi ppl and lesbians all at once. having a preference does not make u less bi. comphet, which is not real attraction, does not make you less lesbian. bi ppl do not need to “pick a side.” lesbians will never like men.

also: trans women are women, and included in lesbianism. and trans men are men! and fem-aligned nb ppl are included in lesbianism!

i’ve had way too many conversations with myself trying to find out if i’m bi or lesbian. i can see why it might be easier to just call yourself both. but there’s no way to do that w/out contradicting yourself and invalidating other ppl.

as sapphics we all love women, and that’s beautiful. some of us love men too, but you can’t be attracted to men and not be attracted to men at the same time. bi, pan, and lesbian are all wonderful and valid labels, but they mean different things. words have meanings.

in conclusion: comphet is a bitch! internalized biphobia is a bitch! but that’s no excuse to make up hybrid sexualities that are harmful to multiple communities and also Don’t Exist <3