There’s this misconception that if you pour more love into someone eventually they will return that energy. In a normal healthy relationship this works. If someone doesn’t value you and they only see you as a resource, they aren’t going to all of a sudden see you for who you are.

This is why I always talk explicitly about fantasy relationships. People have normalized creating an entire fantasy of a “relationship” with people who do not know they exist. Both online and in every day life. So they train their nervous system that it’s normal to be ignored.

When the outpouring of energy is imbalanced you will feel drained, depleted and eventually resentful. But more importantly you normalize a dynamic where being breadcrumbed feels comfortable, familiar and safe. This can show up as difficulty receiving genuine love and abundance.

Of course if you follow someone online who you admire and interact with their content, their art or their work, this can absolutely be healthy. Especially when you understand the dynamic of the exchange and know that you are not actually in a relationship with this person.

Anytime you notice yourself invested in someone in a way that feels like you are starting to think you and them have an actual connection, when you do not, pause and come back fully into your body. Check in with what is happening with you internally and realign with yourself.

You will likely be able to tune into the fact that you are recreating a dynamic from childhood where your nervous system was trained to normalize interactions with someone who was not emotionally unavailable for you.