This has been lawyered.

By which I mean: so much careful phraseology here

Lots of stuff here to explain (away) adverse evidence

This part is a tick-box exercise to accept and then explain (away) all adverse evidence

This statement raises far more questions, once you parse the exact wording used

Not convinced.

The wording too convoluted, the explanations far too tidy, an account reverse-engineered to explain away all available evidence.

Cannot wait to see this statement in writing

Cannot wait

These answers are so more revealing than carefully crafted, lawyered witness statement

Barnard Castle story is falling down in front of us

The Castle Barnard story can only be false

(If true, it would seem to be an offence under s96 RTA 1988)

In my view, on the basis of the information provided by Cummings himself, Cummings was in breach of Coronavirus Regulations in trip to Castle Barnard

Nothing in his account, even at its highest, amounts to a "reasonable excuse" under regulation 6 of the Coronavirus Regulations

fwiw - not a single lawyer on Twitter seems to disagree

(and that is remarkable in itself)

Many thanks to @Independent for the transcript at https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/dominic-cummings-statement-speech-transcript-durham-full-text-read-lockdown-a9531856.html

This is the implausible - literally incredible - text about that day trip to Barnard Castle

Every short brisk sentence starts with the relevant person(s) or "On":

On
My wife
She
We
We
We
We
We
My wife
We
I
We
We
We
We
An elderly gentleman
My wife
On
We
We
We
They
I
They
We
We
We

With one exception:
"But at no point did we break any social distancing rules."

Lawyered

This is how you write witness statements

No normal person writes like this, only lawyers in preparing witness statements - and it is very different from Cummings' usual rambling blogging style

The only departure from these sharp Hemingway-esque sentences is the denial of liability

And that is just how you do a witness statement

As a long term fan of Cummings' blogging, I would say there is no chance he wrote that passage himself

Unless he has suddenly become an experienced settler of witness statements

(Sorry, just realised I am missing PM conference because I am fascinated by this text)