Come on man. It's sunny and I'm inside like a bellend watching the news. Hurry the fuck up.

Might have a gin.

Incidentally this is when you see the professionalism of broadcast journalists. Filling time, making sure they don;t run out of things to say, informing viewers.

Easy to look at them and think: These guys get paid to talk. But it is actually a unique skill, to try to gobble up time while exuding a sense of confidence and making it seem like this is all to plan.

Dominic Cumming is currently stealing summer.

This makes sense, of course. It was only a few months ago they sabotaged Christmas.

Seriously this is a masterclass from Bolton and Craig on Sky. They're currently coming up on half an hour of filling time, all very calmly and professionally. That's basically an entire programme's worth of on-the-spot improvisation.

Ok so I think already clear he's not resigning. "I want to clear up the confusions and misunderstandings."

That fucking noise man

Sorry, what. He warned about coronavirus a year ago. He faced abuse at his home. He was worried about leaving his family at the home while he was at work.

Didn't tell the PM. Claims he did not stop at any point on the way to Durham. Says he only realised he had symptoms the morning after he arrived.

He's really quite nervous.

So he went to the town to test his eyesight while driving. Is this really the excuse.

He.... went to Barnard castle to test his eyesight.

No.10 lashed out at media Saturday night saying it was all made up. They did not confirm that this trip to Barnard castle was in fact true.

I mean, not being funny mate, but if you're not sure your eyesight is OK to drive, don't drive a fucking car.

I drove a car to make sure I could drive a car might be the worst excuse I've ever heard.

"Exceptional circumstances" is doing a lot of work here. I missed all mention of that get-out clause at the time, on the basis that it wasn't mentioned.

Not so subtle hint there that people are angry *because they've watched the media* - ie it's a stitch up by the journos.

"The coverage of the last couple of days could make people believe they can behave in certain ways." There it is again. If his behaviour prompts people to break the lock-down he did not follow, it is the media's fault for covering it.

And again. "A lot of that anger is based on reports in the media that have not been true. The media reporting some of these things that were wrong and reported them anyway. And that has caused a lot of anger." Incredible.

The trip to Durham is not out there because he released it, but because journalists discovered it. The trip to the castle, which No.10 denied and he has now admitted, was the result of journalists discovering it.

Amazing. And now won't admit he should have checked with the PM before he took a trip that, at the very least, looked like it broke the lockdown rules.

Brilliant from Gary Gibbon.

Cummings reading out the small print, which anyway does not validate what he did, is not a good look. But then none of this is. Literally the best look of what's going on is the fact he wore a shirt.

"The only way to avoid this problem was to stay in Durham." Yes. Well indeed you could have. Or driven around the block.

This is like watching a cat wrap itself in string.

He's reminds me of me when I was 15 and the teachers caught us smoking weed.

Fucking hell he's still at it with the attacks on the media.

No-one's going to think what you're saying is "reasonable" Dominic. No-one has any idea what the fuck you're talking about.

Take a good hard look at this guy. Have a good listen. This is what the prime minister sacrificed his public health policy for in the middle of a pandemic.

Dear God that was bad.